Murder Tactics
by Urchin Power
Summary: Seigaku has had enough of Fuji’s pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they’ll both kill each other by the end of the week... or sooner.
1. Prologue

_**Title:**__ Murder Tactics  
_**Date:** _October 27, 2007_  
_**Authoress:**__ Urchin Power  
__**Disclaimer:**__ I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
__**Category:**__ Dark Humour  
__**Summary:**__Seigaku has had enough! Hyotei will stand no more of it! Two rival teams will join forces to tactfully eliminate the Seigaku tensai and the Hyotei diva. [Centred on Fuji and Atobe trying to kill each other  
__**Note:**__ Hello. It's been a while since I've last written. Judging from the summary I gave, the story should be pretty predictable. This is a rather short prologue, but from here on out Atobe and Fuji will do their best to kill the other one off. Isn't that fun? I truly hope that I can get through this story, since I've got a very short mind span and thus have written only one chaptered stories. Please be patient with me and enjoy reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated!_

**Murder Tactics**

**Prologue  
**

"I got an e-mail back from Tezuka." Oishi Syuichiro announced after a particularly stressful afternoon of tennis practice. A certain Seigaku tensai had thought it cute to dye everyone's club uniforms pink sometime in between morning practice and after school practice, while the certain brunet was supposed to be in class learning of the measurements of triangle and the oh so fabulous possibilities of that particular shape; otherwise known as trigonometry. It didn't end there.

Sometime during the middle of practice, Fuji had mysteriously disappeared and of course didn't return. He probably went off to do tensai things. Regardless, a few minutes after Echizen noted the disappearance of his Fuji-senpai, the sprinklers went off all over the tennis courts spraying not only water, but also bubbles. It would have all looked very pretty and magical in a world of pink uniforms and bubbles, if their upcoming practice match with Hyotei weren't coming up.

… Oh! Almost forgot to mention that Fuji had stolen all the tennis balls before practice had even begun, so they didn't really play or practice at all that day. Momoshiro kind of spent that whole few hours trying to wash the stinging feeling in his eyes after a full frontal assault from the sprinkler. Well instead of tennis balls, Fuji had spent a good year's allowance to replace the yellowish green balls with Furbies. And needless to say, temporary captain Oishi's voice was drowned out by a multitude of: "_doo dah_"s and "_u nee boo boo bah_"s and "_doo doo da bee boo la la_"s.

And so, the Regulars (save for Fuji who was off doing tensai things) slowly crowded around Oishi.

"What did he say?" Momoshiro questioned rather unenthusiastically.

To note: They have nothing against Tezuka. They were just having a horrible day… Well, more of like a past couple days all thanks to a certain someone who was off doing tensai things.

Oishi scanned the letter, clearing his throat, "Dear Oishi and team members, please stop bullying Fuji. I ate scheinehaxen today with apfelstrudel for dessert. Yum yum. Work hard and don't let your guard down."

"Picking on Fujiko?" Kikumaru Eiji complained, "He's the one picking on us! He probably used the whole 'When I close my eyes I see you Tezuka' line." The redhead had mimicked in his best Fuji voice.

"Doo bee da da la bah ka." A furby announced.

"I thought I took out the batteries from all of them." Kawamura frowned.

"Listen, we'll handle this. We've been through worst." Oishi encouraged.

"Not according to my data." Inui protested.

"I'm tired. Can I go home?" Echizen muttered before taking a large gulp from his can of grape Ponta. Six pairs of eyes quickly swivelled over in horror as Echizen let out a chocking sound then collapsed on the floor with a strange liquid bubbling from his mouth.

"Fuji attacks once more." Momoshiro gasped.

"Fshuu."

"Ahem." Inui coughed burying his face in his notebook, "That one was me."

"Why Inui? Why would you do this to us?" Kikumaru cried.

"I noticed that he wasn't following his calcium milk diet." Inui mumbled.

The group shrugged. It was only Echizen… Right?

"We just haven't tried the right tactic. Everyone has a weakness. We just have to find it." Oishi explained, trying his best to sound relatively hopeful.

"There isn't anything. We tried everything! The teachers are powerless, the principal… I'm not even sure if this school even has a principal! Ryuzaki-sensei laughs, and poisoning him didn't work." Kikumaru cried desperately.

"He even recommended rat poison. He's scary." Momoshiro shuddered.

"He takes different staircases to get to class, like he knows were we station our people to push him down the stairs." Oishi added.

"There's an 80 percent chance he's using the girl's bathroom to avoid our hit men." Inui frowned.

"We even paid Mizuki to flirt with Yuuta." Kawamura grinned sheepishly.

"What happened to that again?" Kikumaru asked, genuinely curious.

"Mizuki was placed in Hasegawa Hospital and was released a few days ago." Inui informed.

"Isn't that an asylum?" Kaidoh questioned.

"Yes." Inui nodded.

"Scary. Scary." Momoshiro shivered.

"We best not mess with Yuuta then." Oishi nodded, "Well, it looks like we're down the creek without a paddle."

They sighed.

* * *

"Laps, laps, laps, more laps, his face, laps, and laps." Mukahi Gakuto complained loudly as he sat on a nearby bench in the clubroom and crossed his arms. 

"You forgot: laps, his money, laps, laps, how his uniform looks better because he's perfect and his maids use high quality Ore-sama only laundry detergent, laps, laps, and laps." Shishidou added.

"You guys are being too mean." Oshitari sighed, "It's like this: laps, laps, Ore-sama, Oshitari can never compare to Ore-sama's awesome good looks and prowess so drop the fake glasses act, laps, laps, and laps."

"Hey! Don't you have anything to say about this?" Mukahi glared towards Ohtori, then towards Kabaji and back.

"Eh…" Ohtori Choutarou mumbled.

"Order Kabaji around, usu." Kabaji mumbled in his voice that doesn't scare off little children.

"How about you Jirou?" Shishidou growled.

"Zzz."

"Yea… I think I speak for Jirou when I say I've had enough of his high and mighty attitude." Mukahi announced.

"Just because he's really rich doesn't mean that rules don't apply to him too. He's also getting really annoying with all this Ore-sama business. Oh! I forgot his fans! They cheer, they chant, they pray to his bubblegum shrine, and they won't shut up and die!" Shishidou complained.

"He's overly dramatic." Oshitari added.

"Overly flamboyant." Mukahi added.

"Overly purple." Shishidou shuddered.

"Usu."

Ohtori gave the group a comforting smile, "At least we have a practice match with Seigaku tomorrow. That should at least give us a break from-"

The clubroom door burst open.

"Ore-sama demands your attention!" Atobe Keigo announced snapping his fingers high up in the air with his arm completely outstretched.

"Yes?" They all questioned dully in monotone.

Atobe's eye twitched and ordered, "More enthusiastically."

"Yes?" They all questioned once more, but with their voice slightly higher pitched.

"Again!" Atobe snapped his fingers.

"Yes?" They all questioned once more, but this time had their eyebrows raised, eyes wide, and voices filled with concern.

Atobe smirked, "I have a problem."

"Really?" Oshitari arched a brow in interest.

There was a dramatic pause.

Atobe sighed, "I don't know what to wear tomorrow."

Mukahi blinked, "Are you stu-"

Oshitari quickly covered up the redhead's mouth with his hand.

"Why don't you just wear the Hyotei tennis uniform?" Shishidou grumbled.

"Hm… But then I'll look like the rest of you. Ore-sama cannot be brought down to your low life level." Atobe scoffed.

Shishidou's eye twitched.

"Well, we should all be matching. Because it's a uniform and… you're our captain." Ohtori hastily jumped into the conversation before his Shishidou-senpai would say something he would later regret.

"Hm. I have a lot to think about tonight." Atobe frowned before leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

"No, we can't murder him." Oshitari reminded the group.

"Yea… He does that freaky eye thing and can tell when something's poisoned, or if someone dug a very deep hole in the middle of the tennis court and covered it up with a layer of leaves." Shishidou complained.

"Well, it's not like we can't murder him. We just haven't found the right murder tactic yet. (Hey! That's the title to this story!) We should just stick our minds together and come up with something better." Mukahi sighed.

"I can't wait to see Fuji-kun tomorrow!" Jirou slurred, as he rolled into a more comfortable position and fell back asleep.

"That's good for you." Mukahi rolled his eyes.

"Hey! I say we rig the tires to the bus, so we get into a giant accident on our way to Seigaku tomorrow." Shishidou gasped as his own ingenious idea.

"… Then we'll all die." Oshitari frowned.

"Right…" Shishidou sighed.

"How about we just take the day off tomorrow. Ore-sama will be too busy focusing his freaky eye thing and attention those Seigaku brats that he'll lessen the stupidness on us. Then the day after we'll all be refreshed and can come up with a great plan to kill him off." Hiyoshi Wakashi suggested.

"Who are you again?" Mukahi blinked.

"Yea… I don't think I've seen you around." Oshitari frowned.

"It's me. Hiyoshi Wakashi. I played against Echizen Ryoma at the Seigaku-Hyotei match." Hiyoshi explained.

"Oh… you." Mukahi grinned unsurely.

"We remember… you." Shishidou also grinned, tilting his head slightly to one side.

"Good work on what you're doing and have been working on… you." Oshitari encouraged, nodding his head slowly.

"You all still don't remember who I am right? And can't even find the effort to call me by my name even though I said it seconds ago." Hiyoshi glared.

"No, no. It's nothing like that! We would never forgot your name and who you are… you." Ohtori chuckled nervously.

"That's right!" Shishidou nodded, "We value… you."

**To Be Continued**

_**Ending Notes:**__ From this point, I honestly don't know how many chapters I will come up with. So, I'll try my best to update weekly… biweekly… triweekly? (at most) and see you all next time! I swear it will get better!! I hope you all had fun reading! By the way, Echizen is not dead._

_Urchin Power_


	2. Chapter 1 Rock, Paper, Scissors

_**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** November 10, 2007  
**Authoress:** Urchin Power  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
**Category:** Dark Humour  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough! Hyotei will stand no more of it! Two rival teams will join forces to tactfully eliminate the Seigaku tensai and the Hyotei diva. [Centred on Fuji and Atobe trying to kill each other  
**Note:** Hello again! Sorry for the very late update, but I've recently purchased Call of Duty 4 which now owns my soul. Thank you very much for all who have read, reviewed, favourited, story alerted me, and other (use your imagination). To answer to **michiyo drops:** No, this will not be yaoi. This is just a plain story of two boys trying to kill each other. Oh! I forgot to mention or maybe should have made reference to chapter 363 (well, they call it Genius 363 -- doesn't Takeshi Konomi have a lot of time on his hands?) with the whole phrase: "when I close my eyes my heart sees Tezuka" line by Fuji, which in my opinion was a totally corny phrase worthy of being mentioned. So again, this will not be yaoi, sorry for any misunderstandings. And I'll have to apologize again that the first-degree murder attempts don't really start until the next chapter. As always, I hope you all have fun reading!_

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 1**  
_Rock, Paper, Scissors_

Afternoon practice with Hyotei so far had been uneventful. Though, there had been a small squabble between Kikumaru and Mukahi and another one between the usual Momoshiro and Kaidoh. Much to temporary captain Oishi's relief, the Hyotei Regulars dismissed the soap-like scent of yesterday's incident with only an awkward facial expression. It wasn't in their position to judge what the Seigaku courts smelled like seeing that their own smelled strongly of lavender… which most certainly could be Atobe's fault. No, it is most definitely his fault. However, the current scent of the tennis courts were the least of Oishi Syuichiro and perhaps the rest of the Seigaku Regulars' worries. After all, when Fuji strolled into the changing room for afternoon practice, with his perpetual smile, whistling a tune, and dropping his tennis bag down accidentally (though Inui says it's 63 percent likely it was on purpose) onto Arai's foot, they all couldn't help but to notice the sort of metallic clang the tensai's bag emitted which were obviously not the beautiful sound of tennis racquets.

It was several minutes into practice in which the ever-observant Oshitari Yuushi noted the rather strange tension in the air. With a small questioning frown on his face he made his way towards Oishi, "Did something happen with Fuji?"

"N-No! Of course not! Why would you suggest such a thing?" Oishi replied hastily, his eyes shifting around nervously.

Oshitari arched an eyebrow, "Are you sure?"

"Yes! Of course I'm sure! I-It's not like we're trying to kill Fuji or something… Wait! I meant to say that it's not like we're trying to… hug Fuji or something." Oishi stuttered.

"I think that something did happen." Mukahi Gakuto stated tossing an arm around his double partner's shoulder, and nodding his head vigorously.

"No. N-Nothing happened. Right guys?" Oishi urged, turning to a few of his surrounding teammates for backup.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. If Fuji's driving you all insane, we get it." Shishidou stated matter of fact, "We're kind of in the same position as you all."

"What do you mean?" Momoshiro questioned.

"Don't worry about it. It's not that big of a problem!" Ohtori cut into the conversation with a sheepish smile on his face and bowing profusely in apology, "We're just having some internal problems in Hyotei Gakuen. We wouldn't want to trouble you all with them, because I'm sure whatever Fuji-san did, it's still your main priority and we wouldn't want to trouble you with ours… And I'm not sure what Fuji-san did, but it's none of our business right? Unless of course it'll make you feel better speaking to someone about it because-"

"Arg!" Mukahi interrupted, "I'll just make long story short: Atobe's annoying and we're trying to kill him. Wouldn't you?"

"That's not very nice. You know murder shouldn't be the answer to your problems because…" Oishi sighed shaking his head in dismay, "Who am I kidding?"

"Fuji-senpai's driving us insane with pranks." Momoshiro stated.

"And they're not small pranks to laugh at for the end of the day fshuu." Kaidoh added.

"It's a problem, eh?" Hiyoshi Wakashi sighed and nodded his head in understanding.

The twelve or so number of boys all exchanged glances.

"Is he on your team? We've never seen him before and he's wearing a Hyotei uniform." Kikumaru whispered loudly, in order not to sound rude in front of the now glaring Hyotei freshman who could by the way hear every little whisper judging from the close proximity the group stood in so that a certain Hyotei captain and Seigaku tensai wouldn't listen in on the gossip.

Shishidou shrugged, "It's… that guy. You know… the one that…"

"Plays tennis?" Momoshiro filled in hesitantly.

Hiyoshi turned towards Echizen (who was very much alive from last chapter), "I played against you. Surely you know who I am."

Echizen cleared his throat and lowered his cap consequently covering most of his face.

"Well, we attempted to kill Fujiko-chan, but he always slips away from us." Kikumaru explained returning to the more important matters.

"Same with Atobe. We're not sure if he's just lucky or if it's his Insight, but he's read through all our traps." Oshitari replied with an equal amount of exhaustion in his voice.

"Same case with Fuji. This perhaps applies with Atobe, but the two of them are on a completely different level from us. They don't allow me to collect any data on them." Inui informed as he flipped through several pages of his notebook. By this point most of the Seigaku and Hyotei team were already congregating together in order to listen in on the conversation. Well, save for Atobe who was too busy trying to fix his hair with a small pocket mirror, and for Fuji who was off bouncing a ball off his racquet with a rather eerie smile on his face.

"Regardless of data, Seigaku isn't the type of team that'll just give up. We just haven't found the right method yet." Oishi encouraged.

"That's right! We don't give up!" Kikumaru cheered.

"Well, if you ever come up with something please tell us." Oshitari commented with a small cringe forming on his face while watching from behind his non-prescription glasses as Atobe started tilting his head and contorting his face into different facial expressions and poses.

"Yea… We're just about close to giving up." Shishidou sighed, "I hate to say this, but we've just about run out of ideas."

"Mada mada dane."

"Listen, we don't usually admit defeat, but I don't even think you Seigakutizens can come up with a perfect strategy to eliminate the great Ore-sama." Mukahi growled dryly.

"Well, you all probably couldn't last a day with Fuji." Kikumaru retorted for the sake of not being outdone by the other redhead.

"Are you trying to start something with me? Huh? Huh?" Mukahi stepped in front of Seigaku acrobat with a threatening glare on his face.

"Hold it!" Inui interrupted stepping in between the two his face now buried into his notebook paying no notice from the curious stares he was getting from his teammates and the Hyotei team. Inui cleared his throat after a good five minutes of scribbling (Kaidoh noted that it was a doodle of a kitten).

"Inui-san-" Ohtori began.

Inui snapped his notebook shut promptly gaining their attention, "I've got the perfect idea. We'll pit them against one another. That way-

In short, Inui began creating a rather intricate plot in order to create a large face off between Atobe and Fuji, which sounded much harder than it actually was. Mainly because said teen began using every body's favourite thing called numbers to explain the inertia of a train travelling at 243 kilometres an hour, while on the other side of the tracks was another train though travelling at 366. Needless to say, the crash would be pretty messy; though all train wrecks seem to turn out that way. From the looks of it, Atobe and Fuji pitted against each other would have similar nasty results.

-and they'll never know what hit them, except death." Inui concluded.

"Wait… What about tennis?" Shishidou asked, genuinely confused.

"There is no tennis in this game." Inui informed darkly.

The all gasped.

Inui continued despite the fact that Akutagawa Jirou fainted, "I know it's a hard conclusion to come to terms with, but this time around: tennis and violent slayings are two different things."

"Inui-senpai, this won't work." Echizen insisted. After all, tennis and bloodshed seemed to walk hand in hand.

"Echizen, I don't like the plan either, but we'll have to try. And if we don't succeed… Well, we'll keep trying. We'll keep trying and we'll never give up." Momoshiro replied with optimism.

"It sounds like it's time for the hunters to become the hunted." Oshitari nodded along with the group as they slowly dispersed from one another in order not to seem too conspicuous.

"What were you guys talking about over there?" Fuji questioned as Kikumaru walked over towards him.

"It was nothing." The redhead shrugged, "Oshitari just told us that Atobe doesn't really like you."

Fuji remained quiet.

"Yea… Atobe doesn't really like you." The redhead continued while trying to suppress the rather terrible case of the shivers.

"Eiji? I'm not sure how to tell you this… But I don't really care." Fuji nodded his head sympathetically and laid a hand on the redhead's shoulder.

"Oh…" Kikumaru blinked, "Well, remember how he destroyed Tezuka-buchou's arm?"

"Despite the fact that Tezuka's a great friend, I'm not too worried about it. He was sent to one of the top rehabilitation centres, and in a few weeks he'll return as good as new. Besides, isn't it… _fun_ having Oishi as temporary captain?" Fuji smiled.

Kikumaru did his best to repress a rather large shiver. The redhead decided it was about time to pull out his wildcard, "Unya… speaking of great friends… I don't think that it's a coincidence that Atobe and Mizuki wear the same purple and both have a horrible sense of fashion. To be honest, I heard that they're really close friends." Fuji's eyes widened at this fact, and Kikumaru hoped that his best friend (regardless of the little detail that he was trying to kill him) couldn't read through his lies. Kikumaru continued, "Yea… They're really close friends. You know, Oshitari told us that Atobe encourages Mizuki to date Yuuta-kun."

"Atobe encourages Mi-baka to do what?" Fuji growled under his breath, his azure eyes darkening.

"Being friends, Atobe told Mizuki that he has a chance with your brother." Kikumaru repeated.

"That little freak elf… My Yuuta? And Atobe's setting them up?" Fuji clenched his hands into fists.

Kikumaru nodded, "That's right."

"He'll pay." Fuji narrowed his eyes.

"And don't forget, I also heard that Atobe lent Mizuki that ugly purple sweater with those bright pink rose print patterns on it." Kikumaru added, "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you that we did a draw earlier and Oishi wants me to tell you that you'll be playing against Atobe on court B."

"Perfect." Fuji purred in a way large wild feline animals do before playing a little game of tag and homicide with the antelopes.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, which wasn't really elsewhere because it was just a tennis court away from where Fuji and Kikumaru stood. Regardless, a few metres away, Oshitari made his way up next to Atobe. Unfortunately for the navy haired teen, Atobe had more pressing matters like that stray strand of hair on his forehead that couldn't decide whether to stick to the right side of his head or the left. Oshitari cleared his throat and his appearance once again went unnoticed. It was a while after Atobe decided just to pluck it out that he finally sniffed the air, didn't like it, and noticed Oshitari Yuushi.

"Ore-sama's busy." Atobe frowned closing shut his pocket mirror and storing it in the pocket of his shorts for quick and easy access.

"I heard from Inui that Fuji absolutely hates you." Oshitari said casually.

"Because I destroyed his captain's arm?" Atobe arched a thin eyebrow.

"No. Fuji just… doesn't like you." Oshitari shrugged.

Atobe frowned, "Because… he's jealous of my prowess?"

"No. Fuji doesn't like you because he just doesn't." Oshitari explained.

"There has to be a reason." Atobe crossed his arms.

"Nope. He just plain doesn't like you." Oshitari concluded.

"Oh." Atobe sounded, "Well, is it because my tennis skills are awesome?"

Oshitari sighed exasperated, "No. Listen. Fuji called you a fruit cake."

"Because I'm colourful?" Atobe nodded.

"No. He called you ugly." Oshitari tried once more.

"Ugly? Impossible!" Atobe chuckled at such an absurd thought and concluded, "So… Fuji is jealous of me."

"No. Because- You know what? Forget it. Fuji just hates you because he just doesn't like you because you're you and he doesn't really like you." Oshitari almost growled. Of course, if he did growl he would sound very sexy indeed.

"No one hates Ore-sama." Atobe muttered, his face darkening in similar expression to the one that Fuji sported a few metres away.

"By the way, we did a small draw while you were busy and you'll be playing Fuji on court B. Best of luck!" Oshitari grinned before running off to stand behind the fencing of the courts next to the other Seigaku and Hyotei regulars, including Kikumaru who had quietly stepped away from one enraged Fuji Syusuke.

"You don't like Ore-sama, ahn? Jealous much?" Atobe smirked.

"Jealous of your friendship with that little freak elf boy? Please spare me the humour." Fuji replied, his face ever smiling.

"I'm not sure what elf boy you're talking about, but I bet that elf is more sophisticated than you." Atobe crossed his arms.

"You do have a horrible sense of what's unholy in this world." Fuji's smile widened as he held out a fisted hand towards the taller teenager.

Atobe also outstretched his fisted hand forward, "My senses might I remind you are most refined."

Atobe kept his hand fisted, while Fuji flattened his own first.

Atobe smirked, "Rock beats paper. I serve first."

As the Hyotei captain was about to turn around and walk to the baseline, with a racquet in one hand and a tennis ball in the other, Fuji huffed, "Are you brainless? Paper beats rock." With that said, Fuji snatched the tennis ball out of Atobe's hand.

Atobe wheezed, truly shocked that someone had dare insult him, "How can a flimsy piece of paper defeat a stone?"

"It covers it. Do you not know how the rock-paper-scissors system works?" Fuji scoffed, quickly turning around on his heel towards the far end of his side of the field. He paused in step upon feeling something small hit his back. He spun around and shone furious ice blue eyes at the Hyotei captain.

Atobe smirked tossing a small pebble up in the air and catching it in his hand before tossing it up once more, "Nothing beats rock."

Fuji's eyes narrowed.

Shishidou Ryou who was standing nearby let out a small shriek as Fuji dug a hand into the pocket of his shorts. Luckily, Fuji grabbed what he was searching for and threw it with perfect accuracy at Atobe's head. The Hyotei captain let out a horrified gasp as he moved his head in time, but not fast enough as several strands of his perfect hair fell onto the clay pavement of the tennis court.

"Nothing beats scissor." Fuji mocked, his lips curling into malicious grin.

"You bitch!" Atobe screeched throwing the small pebble he held in his hand with all his might directly at the honey haired tensai. However, Fuji managed to deflect the pebble with a wave of his arm nonetheless feeling the small painless peck of the very tiny, tiny stone making contact with his skin. Fuji in turn growled, tossing the tennis ball high up in the air and serving the yellowish green ball towards Atobe's own balls.

There was a loud cry that carried to all corners of Japan and parts of South Korea as Atobe Keigo collapsed to the ground. Elsewhere, the confused citizens of Tokyo all stopped whatever they were previously doing, unable to figure out where that distant scream came from. And in closer proximity aside from the ringing in their ears, the Seigaku and Hyotei team couldn't help but to grin as their plan proceeded accordingly.

"My mirror!" Atobe yelled in fury as he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out said (now broken) object he was so fascinated with before and was conveniently shielding the area in which Fuji aimed for, despite the fact that Atobe would have rather gotten hit than experience the pain he was feeling now very deep in his heart. It was true what they say: Physical wounds fade, but emotional scars last forever.

Fuji smirked in the most malicious way possible.

"You've made an enemy for life." Atobe growled.

From behind the fence a certain Echizen Ryoma shrugged cracking open a new can of Ponta, "See? Tennis is always involved."

**To Be Continued**

_**Ending Notes:**__ Huh. D: I hate to say this, but I'm rather unsatisfied with the quality of this chapter. I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's like I'm not writing up to par. Either that or this was a really slow start-up chapter. Arg! Or maybe this is all in my mind. Feedback would be greatly appreciated, and please tell me if I'm being overly paranoid or whatever. Regardless, it would have been really awful of me to take a full month to update. I really hope you all had fun reading!_

_Urchin Power_


	3. Chapter 2 Exploding Kittens and Dan

_**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** November 26, 2007  
**Authoress:** Urchin Power  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
**Category:** Dark Humour  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough! Hyotei will stand no more of it! Two rival teams will join forces to tactfully eliminate the Seigaku tensai and the Hyotei diva. [Centred on Fuji and Atobe trying to kill each other  
**Note:** Hello! Firstly, I'd like to say that I'm growing really tired of the summary (I hate it). So, next time I update, be aware that the summary to this story will change. Secondly, thank you for those who have reviewed, such and such, you're all great! I especially love those reviews in which the reader tells me what part of the story they like or find amusing; it's very interesting to note how everyone likes different dialogue or parts whereas someone else might pay no attention it. Finally, I finally got around to creating an outline for this story (plot bunny? Is that some sort of unregistered animal?) If all goes as plan there will be a total of 8 chapters plus an epilogue. So, I hope you all have fun reading! _

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 2**  
_Exploding Kittens, Bunnies, and Everything Cute_

"Aniki. I have a huge 5000-word essay and analysis due tomorrow and I'm only halfway done. I'd really appreciate it if you leave, and never come back." The youngest of the Fuji siblings complained, while hunched over his desk with piles upon piles of papers scattered on every inch of the table. Regardless of having his work literally in front of him, his concentration was diverted to his older brother hovering above him.

"Yuuta, it's just enlightening. I never knew that your idiot manager and that monkey king (Aren't Fuji and Echizen the best of friends?) were acquainted at all. Other than their horrible sense of fashion, I couldn't imagine them even sprouting a conversation with one another." Fuji explained as he took a seat on his younger brother's bed, "Did you know that they were friends?"

"No. I don't really care. All I care about right now is the social economic misfortunes and advances of the Edo Period." Yuuta growled.

"Yuuta. My poor baby brother." Fuji sighed and shook his head, "You've got to learn to forget the past and focus more on the present. And in the present, there's a little freak of nature living a dorm room away from you and I'm concerned about your safety."

"I have an assignment! And I'm safe here!" Yuuta yelled officially irritated.

The door burst open, "I heard screaming. Are you okay Yuuta-kun?"

Fuji glared (the older one of course).

"Oh! If it isn't my greatest rival Fuji Syusuke-kun? How are things at Seigaku?" Mizuki chuckled as he entered the room twirling a stray lock of hair around his index finger in a manner that wasn't at all perverse.

"Whatever the monkey man Tarzan told you, you have no chance with my little brother." Fuji informed angrily.

"I'm not sure who Tarzan is other than that half naked -Mmm yes- jungle man, but if a half naked man with stunning abs, ripped muscles and gorgeous locks of long flowing hair told me I had a chance with Yuuta, then I believe that I have a chance with Yuuta." Mizuki stated proudly and with confidence.

"It looks like you think very highly of the monkey king." Fuji glared, crossing his arms above his chest as he stood up from Yuuta's bed, "I guess Eiji wasn't lying when he told me of your… friendship."

"Who doesn't think highly of Tarzan? He's one wild ride because he's from the jungle. Also, he's no monkey king, he's more of a gorilla king." Mizuki scoffed (of course, he still believes they're talking about the actual Tarzan and not the Hyotei captain).

"Is that so?" Fuji questioned arching up an eyebrow.

"Can we please stop talking about sexy jungle men? I have an essay and analysis due tomorrow! Not just tomorrow, but tomorrow morning! Please be considerate!" Yuuta growled.

"Mmm yes. I'm considering you." Mizuki purred.

"And I'm considering you." Fuji smiled, grabbing Mizuki by the collar and dragging the curly haired boy out of the room.

"Thank you!" They could hear Yuuta yell from down the hallway before Fuji shoved the other boy into the nearest room, which so happened to belong to a certain teenager who resembled an ugly duck that would never grow into a swan. Well, said duck's ducky senses were tingling and decided to leave the room, quietly closing the door shut behind him.

"Wow! Fuji-kun, I didn't know how badly you wanted me." Mizuki licked his lips in a manner meant to be sexy, but he only ended up scaring little children. Regardless of the children, Fuji pulled out a shiny silver fork. Mizuki gulped and chuckled nervously, "What are you planning on doing with that fork?"

"My dagger got confiscated the last time I came to visit." Fuji's smile widened.

"Oh…" Mizuki hyperventilated, "Well… Planning on eating something? Cake perhaps?"

The fork in Fuji's hand glinted, "I'm going to eat you Mizuki-kun-"

"Oi! You got my name right!" Mizuki cheered, honestly happy.

Fuji rolled his eyes, "Yes, well… I'm going to kill you. And I'm not going to kill you because I absolutely hate you, and not because I'm trying to protect my brother though that's partly the reason. I'm going to kill you because your death will make your little best buddy friend Atobe Keigo cry."

"Who?" Mizuki blinked.

Unfortunately his questioned went unanswered as Fuji stabbed the fork into his eyeball ripping it out of the socket as Fuji pulled the fork back. Mizuki watched through his good eye as Fuji glided out his once right eyeball from those four stainless steel spikes crushing in his hand before tossing it to the ground. He screamed because despite what people say, eyepatches were ugly and pirates were so out after a certain third movie involving pirates, boats, squid man person, and a slow plot didn't meet the expectation of the greater population of viewers.

Well, Fuji had a delightfully bright smile on his face as he lifted the bloodied fork once more, though one who's a certified biology may argue that there are traces of eyeball juice on that fork as well; Mizuki's cries drowned in his own bubbling blood now gushing from the new dot-like punctures around his neck and throat. As the black haired teen took a step back, gasping for air he took a trip over something yellow that squeaked causing him to fall directly on his behind. He flailed around wildly, eyes scanning the room for any exit. To his misery, the door was right behind a certain Seigaku tensai, and was that a used ducky print boxer hanging off the window's edge? Like he'd touch that; you don't know where that has been. Then again, Mizuki has probably been to more fouler places like that plastic jewelry store for 6 year old little girls and little boys who were into those things. He gasped for breath once more, watching as Fuji's smile turned into a positively ecstatic grin. It was then he felt something smooth under his hand, throwing the blood stained rubber ducky at the Seigaku tensai, which only squeaked as Fuji deflected it with the back of his hand. Mizuki screamed.

There was loud banging on the wall from the room next door followed by a small yell, "Can you keep it down in there? Some people have tests to write tomorrow!"

Mizuki cursed, wondering where all the courtesy went in this school. Would it hurt to drop your books to check up on a fellow student? Apparently it does, when Kisarazu Atsushi heard the first of Mizuki's cries standing up abruptly and forgetting he was holding a particularly heavy dictionary. Presently, one of the Kisarazu twins is in a coma. Regardless, Mizuki was now cornered in the small room, watching with widened horrified eyes as Fuji crouched down to be more at eye level with him smiling as he licked the blood off the fork.

"No point in yelling. No one will hear you where you're going." Fuji said all too cheerfully as he slowly advanced with the fork raised, "But don't worry. Your little friend Atobe will join you in a few days."

As the fork continued to puncture his body, and the warm red blood soaked into the carpet, the pain began to numb... No, that was a joke. Mizuki was in as much pain as the Seigaku regulars when Momoshiro forgot to flush the toilet. And so Mizuki's eyes drifted from the stained carpet and couldn't help but to wonder which lucky person would clean up this mess. Then his gaze fell onto the little rubber ducky that he had tripped on and threw previously, cursing the creature under his breath. Then he glanced up into Fuji's absolutely thrilled face and pondered how a little fork was able to cause so much damage. But no… Those weren't the last thoughts of Mizuki Hajime. He wondered: _Atobe Keigo? As in Hyotei's captain? Friends? WTF? … Though I did see him at the Purple Shirts and Pants United Convention last year._

* * *

Atobe Keigo glanced through the morning newspaper as he rode in his black limousine towards school. "Beef up supper with the ultimate brisket? Hm... Sounds mildly interesting." Atobe muttered under his breath. He flipped the page once more, his face cringing in disgust at the rather graphic image of a bloodied up corpse that barely looked like it once was human. 

"Mizuki Hajime, senior student at St. Rudolph has passed away. Authorities has informed reporters that the likely criminal is the rubber ducky found covered in young Mizuki's blood. When questioned, the rubber ducky remained silent." Atobe read, "Hm… His name sounds a little familiar…"

Atobe glanced back at the photo, which was thankfully black and white and frowned, "Nope. I don't think I know this kid."

"Master Keigo-sama, we're at your school." The chauffer informed dully.

The Hyotei captain snorted (in the most refined way possible of course), tossing his newspaper to the side, grabbing his school bag and making his way towards the large school building. Today was going to be a good day, he could just feel it. He had barely stepped onto school grounds when Oshitari ran up to him with non-tennis related sweat dripping from the sides of his face… gross.

"Atobe. You have to come quick. Someone left you a package in your locker." Oshitari gasped for breath.

Seconds later, they were inside of the clubroom -clubhouse- all crowded around a small silver coloured box with a pretty blue ribbon placed on top. Atobe smirked, "This is merely a gift from one of my many admirers."

"Read the note." Shishidou urged.

"Dearest Atobe, I guess you're wondering what happened to the rest of the body? You'll find out soon when you'll be joining your little friend. I'll be watching you, Fuji Syusuke." Atobe read slowly, making sure to read every word correctly. And he wasn't mistaken when he had no clue what the Seigaku tensai was talking about. Regardless, he had received a present and that was a good thing… right? Well, it would have been a good thing had he received anything other than an index finger covered in dry blood and seemed to have been hacked off rather roughly.

"Hey Atobe, I think Fuji wants you dead." Mukahi grinned.

"Well, just to let you know, the feeling is mutual. First he throws scissors at me ruining a small section of my perfect hair making it slightly not perfect, secondly he destroys my beloved pocket mirror, and now this? What is this by the way? Some smelly, disgusting looking gummy worm gone wrong? You can't even eat this because it's too gross to look at!" Atobe declared.

"It's a finger." Oshitari clarified.

"Your face is a finger." Atobe glared, "Ne Kabaji?"

"… Usu."

"Little does Fuji know, I've already set in motion a plan for his defeat and death. My Insight has led me to conclude the perfect plan to lead to his defeat and death. Yes, my glorious Insight has told me a brilliant plan that will befall upon the Seigaku tensai." Atobe laughed cruelly.

"What plan?" Ohtori questioned.

"A brilliant plan." Atobe replied.

"Right… And you already made this plan?" Shishidou asked.

"Yes." Atobe nodded.

"Can you tell it to us?" Hiyoshi Wakashi questioned.

"No, because I don't have a clue who you are. But this plan will surely obliterate my enemies, being the life enemy that is Fuji Syusuke." Atobe smirked.

"Whatever. I'm going to practice." Shishidou shrugged walking out of the room.

A few metres away, hiding in a large bush nearby the Hyotei tennis courts was one Fuji Syusuke with a large smile on his face (he seems very happy this chapter). He watched through binoculars as the Hyotei clubhouse gradually emptied leaving behind one Atobe Keigo, and of course a Kabaji at his wake. Excellent, most people have finished their laps and were now gathering to hear orders from their captain.

"First years, practice salsa drill number three. Second and third years, pair up." Atobe ordered and was greatly insulted when the 200 members of his team didn't even move an inch, "Did no one understand me? We have a school dance in three days and I will not have my team embarrass me!"

Again, no one bothered moving. It was then that Atobe felt something brush against his leg. He looked down to see a small orange kitten with brown stripes running down its furry body and large cute green eyes. "It's so cute!" He could hear some insignificant tennis player coo on about.

"We're a tennis team, not a zoo!" Atobe yelled, "Ohtori, get rid of this!"

The silver haired teen nodded as he ran over, and crouched down towards the small kitten. He petted the small head and chuckled as the kitten purred in return. "That's disgusting." Atobe frowned and walked towards the tennis courts. Ohtori shrugged and couldn't fathom how a cute little kitten could be considered disgusting (Atobe: it shedded hair on my pants!) before lifting it up and spotting the small beeping black box taped on the little orange kitten's belly. Before he could even gasp, it blew up.

"CHOUTAROU!" Shishidou yelled running towards the explosion. He didn't bother to wait for the smoke to clear, before making his way towards his kouhai's side.

"Shishidou-senpai?" Ohtori managed to say weakly.

"Shh… I'm here." Shishidou gave the boy a weak smile.

"W-Where'd my arms go?" Ohtori coughed. The brunet cringed, as he noticed how the other coughed out blood, but then again it was no comparison to the puddle of blood or the fact that Ohtori had lost both arms and was badly burnt.

"It doesn't matter, you'll be fine." Shishidou reassured.

Ohtori chuckled, "I know you're just saying that Shishidou-senpai. I can see that you're -cough- really worried."

"Choutarou…" Shishidou sniffed.

"I think I'm dying… But before I go… I really loved-"

"Don't say it." Shishidou cried, "Save your energy."

Ohtori smiled, "I really loved your hair."

"I know… I loved my hair too. My long, flowing hair." Shishidou wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

"It shined in the -cough- sun." Ohtori replied weakly before dying.

"CHOUTAROU!!!!!!" Shishidou yelled.

Atobe arched his eyebrow at the scene, "Kabaji, clean this mess up."

"Usu." Kabaji nodded.

"Bunnies!" Some first year squealed, and there were indeed a few three-dozen bunnies all in different colours hopping about. However, before they could remember the Ohtori accident a few seconds ago, said bunnies too exploded.

"Dammit! My team is now reduced to 140 members! How are we supposed to have a dance off against the basketball team with their 100 members?" Atobe growled.

"Who do you think did this?" Oshitari questioned.

"I don't know. But my Insight is telling me that only a certain nosy tensai can come up with this scheme. Ahn?" Atobe announced turning on Oshitari.

"I agree. Fuji wants you dead." Oshitari nodded.

"Oh… I was going to say that you did it… But I guess it makes more sense if it was Fuji." Atobe nodded.

"Ano? Atobe-san?"

"Who's talking?" Atobe glared turning his head around in search for the small voice.

"Down here!"

"Who?" Atobe lifted an eyebrow, glancing down at the small black haired boy with a much too large green sweatband falling over his eyes.

"I'm D-D-Dan!" The boy squeaked and both Atobe and Oshitari winced, "I have a message for you from Seigaku's Fuji-san! He says he's going to kill you!"

"Ew! I don't even understand what this kid is saying. You have the most annoying voice." Atobe rolled his eyes shoving the kid away and towards the nearest person who so happened to be Andou Takeru the world's greatest ball boy and champion of the winter ball-collecting tournament held in Wagga Wagga in New South Wales, Australia. Andou's record ball collecting time is recorded in the tennis book of records as his score averages at 257 balls per minute, which is a stunning 4.2833 balls per second!

It was then that Fuji jumped out of the bushes, running in haste towards the young ball collector no oujisama screaming, "ANDOU!"

Everyone's head spun towards the Seigaku tensai, then over to Andou Takeru.

"ANDOU RUN!!!" Fuji yelled.

However, before Andou could move, Dan exploded.

The Hyotei courts were covered in clouds of red smoke.

"ANDOU!!!" Fuji cried, running over to the ball boy's body. Tears flowed freely down Fuji's face as he cradled the dead boy's body in his arms. The smoke slowly began to clear, and everyone was silent.

"H-He's gone…" Mukahi chocked.

"Why?" Fuji sobbed turning towards a devastated Atobe Keigo, "Why did you push Dan towards the world's greatest ball boy and not towards someone useless like Hikashi Wakaka? Why not Wakaka? WAKAKA!! Why?"

"I… I didn't know! Andou was... I didn't see him!! Oh why couldn't it have been Wakaka?" Atobe cried.

"You're too wonderful to die!" Fuji bawled.

And so, every subsequent year on March 20, the world pauses for a minute of silence. March 20th was not the day that the world's greatest ball boy died. The world decided it was best for the ball boy to be remembered for his life and contributions rather than his death. And so March 20th was the day that the world's greatest ball boy was born and lived a most glorious life, which is coincidentally the first day of spring when the flowers bloom.

**To Be Continued**

_**Ending Notes:**__ Again, I don't know what's wrong with me. This chapter just seems so… blah. I hope I'm not feeling the onset of writer's block. Hopefully it'll get better, I promise. Well, I hope you all had fun reading!_

_Urchin Power_


	4. Chapter 3 The Rokkaku Hit Man

_**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** December 3, 2007  
**Authoress:** Urchin Power  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
**Category:** Dark Humour  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough of Fuji's pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they'll both end up dead by the end of the week. (Atobe x Fuji in murder only)  
**Note:** REVAMPED??? I'm human and not a spamming spy-bot, why is it that I'm having trouble logging into Who else is having difficulty reading those words you have to type in along with your email and password? Come on!! I'm going to major in art and all I see are squiggles. Fs look exactly like small cap Rs, since there's some line going through the word, and those blobs! Also, I noticed that anyone is capable of reporting abuse on someone else's works. This is bull!_  
_1. Yes abuse is bad, but I think that the author is perfectly capable of reporting abuse themselves.  
__2. Usually spam, profanity directed to the writer, and general mean reviews are anonymous, in which the author can DELETE them themselves. Because I'm sure the scary mean reviewer will log in and want to get reported for abuse, which ironically led to my first point.  
__3. Now I'm just in a bad mood.  
__Hello and look at that!! A summary change! Yay!! Thank you for everyone who reviewed! By the way, I was reading some of my reviews and I finally just realized I killed off the sanest person in Hyotei. So I was a bit panicked for a while, but not to fear. Ohtori will still be in this fic, and before anyone asks he will not appear as a ghost or zombie. And to answer __**Immortal Wifey:**__ I wish the ball boy were real, but unfortunately he's only the greatest legend that will forever be in our hearts. Oh wow did I ramble. So, I hope you all have fun reading!_

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 3  
**_The Rokkaku Hit Man_

Two cars were parked along the long strip of an abandoned highway. The natural light from he moon and stars were covered by a thick veil of clouds leaving the scenery dark… very dark. In fact, the only reason they knew where they were walking was due to the headlights on each separate car.

A dark figure robed in a hat and long overcoat slowly made his way out of his car closing the door shut behind him, as had the other figure dressed in a long fur coat. They met halfway and gave a small nod to one another.

"I'm sorry we couldn't talk over the phone. The line could have been bugged and I can't rely on luck anymore."

The other replied with a nod.

"Yes… Well, I have a task for you. I need this man dead."

There was a small photo passed between the two. The man in the long overcoat glanced down at said picture (though he couldn't really see it considering it was very, very dark) and nodded his head in recognition, pocketing the photo in his breast pocket.

"I left the money somewhere where you can find it. I trust you'll be able to handle this assignment. You've had experience before, haven't you?"

The man on the long overcoat took a minute before replying, "You know that guy whose whole left side was cut and hacked out? He's all _right_ now. Pfft!"

"Perfect."

* * *

Momoshiro Takeshi was riding his bicycle to school, a typical routine of every morning. The turned the corner, and continued to bike feeling the build-up of lactic acid in his leg muscles that he didn't spot the lone figure who stood outside the school gates, which in itself was strange because they didn't have morning practice today and thus there should have been more people around the school, but of course Momoshiro was completely oblivious to this small little detail. Totally ignoring the stranger, he made his way over to the bicycle rack and locked his bicycle securely. It was then he felt the ominous shadow looming over him. 

"That bicycle can't stand of its own because it's _two-tired_. Pfft!"

Momoshiro shivered.

"Some people's noses and feet are built backwards. Their feet _smell_ and their noses are _running_. Pfft!"

"Hey!" Momoshiro protested, "I just rode my bike up a very big hill so I have the right to smell, and I also have a cold so my nose can run all it wants. You look a little familiar, but I don't know who you are. I'm going to class and you better not follow me."

"Momo-senpai!" Echizen Ryoma yelled running up to the pair. He stopped in front of the pair to catch his breath, before glancing around the school grounds. His clock stopped working some time in the middle of the night and he wasn't sure if he was either very early or very late for school. But since Momoshiro was here… He might be extremely late. So he questioned, "Where is everyone?"

Momoshiro looked around, "I'm… not sure."

"Who's this guy?" Echizen asked, pointing to the orange haired teen.

"Amane Hikaru. He also goes by the code name Dabid. A third year student at Rokkaku with-" Inui began.

"We don't care!" Momoshiro interrupted.

Inui frowned at the second year's comment with a raised eyebrow, taking out a pencil and hastily scribbling in his green notebook.

"To write with a broken pencil is _pointless_. Pfft!"

"He's annoying." Echizen muttered.

"So what brings you to our school?" Momoshiro questioned.

"I was hired to murder Fuji Syusuke. Pfft!"

"Was that a joke?" Echizen frowned.

"I can't tell." Momoshiro replied.

"Well, it looks like Atobe's making his move. It's best if we stay out of their way until they're both dead." Inui advised before turning his attention to Dabid, "You'll find Fuji in class 3-C."

"Careful though, Fuji's a tough one." Momoshiro warned.

"Being burned at the stake is a rare experience but is seldom _well done_. Pfft!"

"… That was kind of morbid." Echizen noted.

"Just ignored it and hopefully Fuji-senpai will commit suicide and he'll return to Rokkaku." Momoshiro replied as they all made their way into the somewhat empty school building. It was after Dabid took another staircase on his way to Fuji's class that a few heads popped out from around the corner, watching as the atrocious comedian disappeared.

Meanwhile, class 3-C was busy copying the notes the teacher quickly wrote on the board. Takeuchi-sensei gave them a few seconds before erasing the board and writing a new handful of details regarding everyone's beloved subject: math. His eyes scanned the classroom and landed onto one Kikumaru Eiji who was busy scribbling something down, realized he misspelled a word or two (the whole paragraph), and erased the page making a small whining sound as his paper creased and eventually ripped. Kikumaru would eventually get the notes from someone in the class, so there was nothing to worry about. And so he continued to scan the classroom, making sure everyone was done writing before his eyes landed onto a certain prodigy. Fuji Syusuke was sitting all too casually in his seat. He hadn't even taken out his notebook. But Takeuchi-sensei was informed prior to accepting this job to let Fuji-kun do whatever he pleases. And if playing with a knife and staring off with a crazed look on his face was what Fuji-kun wanted to do, then Fuji-kun will do that.

His attention was diverted away from the knife Fuji expertly twirled around as the door to his classroom slid open. A young man stood at the entrance with an intimidating look on his face. The class paused, also noting the strict and serious looking figure.

The orange haired teen spoke, "There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his _pupils_. Pfft!"

The class groaned.

"Alcohol and calculus don't mix. So don't drink and _derive_. Pfft!"

"Excuse me, but you're interrupting my class. You're not even from this school, so I'll have you escorted out of the building." The teacher informed.

"1000 _hares_ have escaped from the box strapped with bombs. The police are _combing_ the area. Pfft!"

Fuji's eyes zeroed in on the messy haired teen.

The teacher frowned, "Excuse me? Did you not hear me? You need to leave the-"

"Amane Hikaru. You also go by Dabid right?" Fuji smirked.

"Actually, it's David. But we tend to pronounce the V as a D, like how we mix up our L and R. Pfft!" (Hey! That was no pun!)

"We'll see about that." Fuji replied.

"See? Then you must wear glasses during math class because it improves di_vision_. Pfft!"

Fuji arched an eyebrow.

Kikumaru gulped and scooted a little away, which was quite difficult since Fuji was sitting right next to him.

The teacher cleared his throat, "Well, you may as well find a seat then Dabid-kun… Um… Right. Back to the distance of the circle around the-"

"The roundest knight at king Arthur's table was _Sir Cumference_. Pfft!"

"Yes…" Takeuchi-sensei frowned. It was going to be a long day.

"He's not even funny!" A girl in the class complained but was cut off short as Dabid turned to glare at her.

"Seven days without a pun makes one _weak_. Pfft!"

"Please pay attention!" The teacher yelled.

"My family was very poor that we couldn't afford to _pay_ attention. Pfft!"

"Please make it stop!" A boy in the corner of the class cried.

"Math teachers have a lot of _problems_. Pfft!"

Takeuchi-sensei groaned and this was pretty much how the whole day unfolded. Most students didn't think it would happen, but the bell finally rang to signal the end of the day. All the students (except those seven students who were severely injured and left in the nurses office, and the two students who died) evacuated the building. The basketball and football (also called soccer) team decided it was best to cancel practice and they too left as quickly as possible. And then there was the tennis team…

"I didn't know how fast that ball was until it _hit_ me. Pfft!"

Momoshiro growled and threw his racquet into the air, stomping around until said racquet fell to the ground in a clatter.

"Gravity is always putting everyone down. Pfft!"

"Make it stop!" Kikumaru complained.

"We have to tolerate this. It's for the long run." Oishi replied.

"The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and _ate_ kids. Pfft! The harm cause by sibling rivalry is _relative_. Pfft!"

And of course that pun was directed to a certain tensai who sat leaning against the fencing of the tennis courts and hadn't even taken out his tennis racquet yet. Some may argue that Fuji didn't feel like playing tennis that day, but that's never the case since tennis is such an amazing sport. Fuji just found some difficulty holding a tennis racquet while oiling the chainsaw he just removed from his tennis bag.

The Regulars all gulped and decided to willingly run some laps away from the tensai. Then there were the non-Regulars who some had an inkling as to what was going on, while others such as a certain tennis player with 2 years of experience were clueless.

"Fuji-senpai! My backhand's a little off despite my 2 years of experience, do you think you can help-"

Fuji abruptly stood up. With a lopsided grin he pulled the long string attached to the chainsaw out waiting for it to quickly retract, before pulling it once more and again until the saw was fully whirring. In a single motion he brought the quickly spinning saw upwards accidentally slicing straight through Horio: merely a casualty. But now covered in blood, Fuji sliced through the fencing around the tennis courts running towards Dabid.

"A saw is very cliché. Some people go into martial arts just for the kicks. Pfft!"

"No more puns!" Fuji ordered lifting up the chainsaw over his head.

"…" Dabid frowned, "You're okaasan's so smelly her poop is glad to escape?"

"He said 'poop'." Momoshiro laughed in the distance away from where Fuji stood with a chainsaw quickly advancing on Dabid.

Regardless of Momoshiro's outburst, Fuji let out a small growl as he shoved he saw straight through the messy haired Rokkaku Regular (much to everyone's relief). Fuji would later say that it was all in self-defence and would eventually leave the courtroom with a trophy and a fruit basket for his good deeds.

But for the meantime, Amane Hikaru also known as Dabid, which is actually David, but as Dabid explained was pronounced Dabid because of the difficulty of saying David. (Wow. Run on sentence. We'll try that again) But for the meantime, Dabid was lying in a pool of his own blood. He was gasping in air and couldn't believe that his last few words would be a Yo Momma joke instead of the beautiful puns he spent a lifetime perfecting. He had one last breath left.

"If you leave -cough, cough- alphabet soup on the stove and go out -cough, blood, cough-, it could _spell_ disaster. Pfft!"

And so Dabid died with a smile on his face.

* * *

Atobe Keigo was comfortably lying down in the centre of an overgrown king sized bed with a few layers of fluffy royal leopard print sheets and covers over him. His teal-grey eyes were closed and he was slowly drifting off to sleep, knowing that Dabid would take care of Fuji Syusuke for him. After all, Dabid was known to make people suicidal. 

"Doo di boo boo bah!"

Atobe frowned.

"Bah bah di boo unee boo la la bah?"

Atobe snapped his eyes open and shrieked.

It was dark, but from the looks of it the floor in his extremely large room was covered from every inch with furry vibrating creatures. It was then that something fell onto his lap, making the Hyotei captain jerk and scoot as close to his bed's gold headboard as possible. It was Dabid's severed head, eyes open and rolled to the back of his head awkwardly and tongue sticking out and bloodied.

"Daa daa nii boo ka ka la."

And from behind Dabid's head was a small blue-pink coloured Furby with those glossy plastic eyes that seemed to bore into him as his Insight did, and that yellow beak with that awfully frightening smile.

Atobe pulled out the AK-47 he kept under his large purple-feathered pillow (it was best to always be armed when a certain tensai was trying to murder you) and pulled the trigger of the large sniper gun blasting the little creature in front of him. He stood up on his bed and swore.

He was surrounded.

**To be continued**

_**Ending Notes:** I think it's pretty straightforward where the Furbies came from. But yea, those puns. I didn't make them up if you're wondering. Pun making is a serious talent that only those skilled enough can achieve, like Dabid, but not really. It'll be appreciated if you leave behind any thoughts and/or feedback! Thanks a lot!_

_Urchin Power_


	5. Chapter 4 The Hyotei Dance Off

_**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** December 18, 2007  
**Authoress:** Urchin Power  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
**Category:** Dark Humour  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough of Fuji's pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they'll both end up dead by the end of the week. (Atobe x Fuji in murder only)  
**Note:** Thank you everyone who reviewed! Honestly, all your comments leave warm fuzzies behind, so thank you, thank you, thank you!! Sorry for the somewhat long absence. I had so much trouble writing this somewhat more serious chapter, and I hope it's not writers block but rather the actual scariness of this chapter. So, I hope you all enjoy reading!!_

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 4**  
_The Hyotei Dance Off_

Akutsu Jin was sitting in the middle of the clubroom floor. The homicidal silver haired teenager wasn't sure whether the silence and darkness of the room was relaxing or just plain infuriating since he was now alone with his thoughts… and thinking was never a good thing. It was then that Sengoku Kiyosumi (never a really bright child) entered the room with a large grin, which instantaneously turning into a frown.

"Oh! You're here!" Sengoku grinned, "Is that why everyone's avoiding this place?"

Akutsu glared.

"What's that in your hands?" Sengoku questioned walking up from behind the other, which wasn't really that good of an idea since Akutsu was once arrested for first degree murder, but was released due to lack of evidence and lack of the corpse. Regardless, Sengoku was really lucky so there was a good chance he'd survive. There was a small flash of green and Sengoku's grin widened, "Hey! Isn't that that green headband you gave Dan?"

Akutsu glared.

Sengoku sighed, "You're not really that good at conversations. I guess we'll work on that some other day. But I have a question. Why do you have Dan's headband? You know that kid has the hugest crush on you… for some reason. Isn't it cruel to give him your headband only to take it back? I don't think it's very nice of you. Then again, I don't think giving the headband to the kid in the first place was a good idea since you're practically stringing him along with no plans of having sex-"

Akutsu glared.

Sengoku gasped, "Oh! I get it! Dan found a new bloodthirsty man to worship and returned the headband to you right? I bet it's that guy… the fukubuchou of Rikkaidai Sanada was it? Hey… Why's it covered in blood? You think Dan and his new serial killer had-"

"He's dead." Akutsu grunted.

"Which one?" Sengoku blinked.

"Dan." Akutsu muttered.

"Oh…" Sengoku frowned, "Well, to make you feel better it was bound to happen. I knew that one of these days that headband would slip over his eyes and he'd most likely walk off the platform and get hit by a quickly moving train."

Akutsu glared again. (It's what he does best! Second to throwing rocks at younger, smaller students)

"He was killed." Akutsu explained.

"Who wouldn't want to kill him? He gets kind of annoying." Sengoku shrugged, "So, how'd he die?"

"Apparently, he got in the middle of some pathetic feud between Hyotei's Atobe and Seigaku's tensai. I don't know what happened, but the only thing I received was this headband." Akutsu replied.

"Atobe and Fuji are in a fight?" Sengoku questioned, "Hm… I have a feeling it might turn out ugly. Lucky we're not involved right?"

Akutsu's face darkened, "I'm already involved."

"What? How? Why?" Sengoku blinked.

"They killed Dan. I'll kill them." Akutsu barked.

"Um…" Sengoku slowly back away, "Good for you. I'll be rooting for ya!"

"But how should I get close to them…" Akutsu growled.

"I should go now. My parents want me home… alive. But hey! There's the Hyotei school dance tomorrow! So… yea. Dance off. Um… Dance party. I'll see you sometime! Bye!" Sengoku laughed nervously.

"HOLD IT!" Akutsu roared before Sengoku had the chance to run off, "Will this party be casual? Semi-formal? Or formal?"

"Formal." Sengoku gulped before dashing away.

Akutsu's lip twitched. He had the perfect plan.

* * *

"Wow, you look horrible." Oshitari Yuushi commented with a smirk on his face. 

"Ore-sama was up all night shooting possessed balls of fur." The Hyotei captain glared. Oshitari frowned. He wasn't sure if Atobe had grown a sense of humour or not, and it was best not to question and to let this all blow over rather than get involved like a certain Shishidou who had spent the last few days after the kitten, bunnies and all things cute bombing spree in the clubhouse trying to perform necromancy on Ohtori's mangled corpse.

"Well, I hope you know that the school dance is tonight." Oshitari shrugged.

Atobe scoffed, "Of course I know that. And I'll look damn good. On the other hand, you need to do something about your hair."

"It's those comments that make us want to kill you." Oshitari sighed.

"What was that? I was too busy admiring the sound of my own voice to listen to yours." Atobe frowned.

"Nothing, nothing." Oshitari replied before adding in 'asshole' in a small whisper.

"Kabaji!" Atobe snapped his fingers.

"Usu."

"Make sure everyone follows the training schedule for today. I'm going to take a small nap and make sure no one bothers me." Atobe ordered. Oshitari and Kabaji exchanged glances as their captain made his way towards the clubhouse. A few seconds later, Atobe emerged with a slightly sickened look on his face and decided it was best to just go back home via helicopter.

"At least we know Shishidou's still in there." Oshitari shrugged.

And as Hyotei Gakuen was getting ready for the major social event of the season, certain members of Seishun Gakuen's tennis team were poking their heads in and out of the clubroom window looking very much like prairie dogs. Inside, Fuji Syusuke had finished applying a thick layer of foundation and was currently retouching his eyelashes with mascara.

"He looks really pretty." Kikumaru commented as the small group watched the tensai secure a honey brown coloured wig on his head.

"Too pretty." Momoshiro narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"What do you think he's planning?" Oishi questioned, watching as Fuji stood to pull up the blue strapless dress that was slowly slipping down his fake breasts. Oishi's questions were somewhat answered when Fuji inelegantly stomped his heeled dress shoe on the stool he once sat on to adjust the black strap around his leg that securely held some darts and a dagger.

"Hyotei's having a school dance tonight." Inui informed.

"I see…" Oishi frowned.

"Fshuu…"

"Hey! How come we weren't invited?" Momoshiro complained.

"I'd rather not be there." Echizen shrugged cracking open a Ponta.

The door opened.

"Oh. What's everyone doing here?" Fuji questioned.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Momoshiro replied.

"Is that so?" Fuji arched an eyebrow.

"We were just… going to Taka's. We're going to… eat. Eat… sushi." Momoshiro informed. Fuji's usual smile dipped into a frown as he glanced from Momoshiro to Kawamura, then to the rest of the group.

"… Want to join us Fujiko-chan?" Kawamura offered.

"No. I have… plans." Fuji grinned (in a way that was meant to be terrifying and bloodcurdling, but only managed to look really cute instead because he just looked so pretty in his dress and his hair and the big long eyelashes and the sparkles and the hair and the oh so prettiness).

"We'll just leave you to those plans then. We'll… see you later?" Oishi nodded.

"All right. Have fun." Fuji smiled.

"We will! You have fun too!" Kikumaru exclaimed.

"Don't worry. I'll have fun." Fuji replied.

Suppressing a shudder, the rest of the regulars decided it was now time to take their leave, watching as Fuji flag down a taxi. Afterwards they actually went over to Kawamura's Sushi, just because watching Fuji get ready made them all miss their dinner time, and the thought of sushi made their mouths water. However, Momoshiro would later complain that the sushi tasted bad because it was filled with fear and no love. Kawamura would apologize and reply that he had no love to spare for tonight.

And so the Hyotei tennis regulars were seated around one of the large highly decorated circular tables that littered the sides of the large room. It was quite the sight to see six usually bright and lively teenagers now the deadbeats of the party, but Atobe would protest that the event wasn't up to Hyotei standards. From their little group, it appeared that only Shishidou Ryou had managed to find a partner and was happily twirling on the dance floor. However, said partner happened to be the slowly decaying body of his former kouhai Ohtori Choutarou dressed up in a tux. Regardless, Shishidou seemed to be having… fun.

"This is so boring!" Mukahi whined, "I can't believe I'm wasting four hours of my precious life in his hell hole."

"Well, you're not making any effort at having a good time." Oshitari replied.

"What?" Mukahi complained, "How can I have a good time when the food and music stink, and the decorations look like they were picked by a blind person with no fashion sense."

A few metres away, music teacher extraordinaire Sakaki Tarou let out a small gasp and ran to the bathroom in tears.

"You forgot to mention that every single girl in this room had their dress chosen out for them by their grandmothers." Oshitari added.

"It's always about girls with you!" Mukahi growled.

"Hm?" Akutagawa Jirou lifted his head from the table, "Where am I? Oh… Right. Party. Hey Oshitari, isn't that girl your type over there?"

"Where?" Mukahi roared.

"Um… She just entered. Doesn't she look really pretty? From the looks of it I think that… I think…" Akutagawa's head collapsed back on the table.

Oshitari arched an eyebrow. She was certainly… different. Also, she was without doubt much more muscular and built than most girls and boys in the room. She wore way too much eyeliner, her lipstick was too red and didn't at all complement her sickly pale skin, her hair was a bit messy, but she wore a skimpy red little dress that showed off her (disturbingly muscular) physic and Oshitari liked that. So without hesitation, he stood up and decided to greet this rather angry looking girl. Unfortunately to whoever was the loser in this situation (they all were), if Akutagawa Jirou hadn't fallen back asleep he would have pointed out that it was the girl behind the buff and muscular creature that had caught his attention. Regardless, Oshitari was already making his move... on the muscular one.

Consequently, it was the pretty young girl in the blue dress that made her way up to their table rather than the brawny girl in the skimpy red dress who looked about ready to murder someone. And despite Mukahi's disfavour for the fairer sex, he had to admit that she was pretty.

"Hi. I heard a lot about Hyotei dance parties and had to come see one for myself." She informed in a sweet voice.

"Well, not this one." Hiyoshi Wakashi joked in a smooth voice.

"So, you must be new to this school. I haven't seen you around the hallways." Atobe jumped into the conversation.

"Yes… I'm new." She replied in a stiff voice.

"Well, I believe it's my duty to show you around." Atobe replied suavely, standing up and offering her his arm.

Mukahi laughed, "She doesn't know what she's got herself into."

"That's no fair! I spoke to her first!" Hiyoshi complained.

Mukahi frowned, "Who the hell are you?"

"You can't be serious. I'm Hiyoshi Wakashi. I've introduced myself about a dozen times this week." The first year replied.

"Kabaji? You know this kid?" Mukahi questioned suspiciously.

"Usu… Wait! I mean: No." Kabaji muttered.

"Hold on… You can speak?" The redhead gasped.

"…" Kabaji shifted his eyes around before hastily standing up and running over to the buffet table.

Fuji Syusuke resisted the urge to laugh maniacally as he (she?) weaved around the dance floor with his target. After finding space in the middle of the room, they settled into a slow dance with Atobe's hand constantly moving downward from the small of Fuji's back to his hypothetical lady parts.

"Did it hurt when you fell down from heaven?" Atobe questioned.

"Yes. It did." Fuji replied with sarcasm.

"Then your name must be Angel right?" Atobe chuckled.

Fuji's frown deepened, "No."

"Then would you care to tell me what the gods call you my fair damsel?" Atobe whispered in her (his?) ear, though of course he didn't know it was a he.

"Make way! Make way!" Shishidou gave a hearty laugh as he twirled the corpse of Ohtori close by.

"Don't mind him. You should only focus all your attention on Ore-sama." Atobe smirked.

"Saa… Don't worry. You have my full attention." Fuji grinned slowly moving his arm down Atobe's shoulder towards his knife strap.

"Hey Atobe! Meet Akutsuko Jinni." Oshitari interrupted, introducing the tall and buff woman to the pair. Atobe and Fuji gave a small nod of the head, in which the burly woman replied by flexing the muscle of her arm and twitching her eye.

"She's… very pretty." Atobe frowned.

Fuji laughed, "You're kidding right?"

"Of course." Atobe replied with a stiffed laugh and added, "I have horses who would look better in that dress."

"Not very attractive." Fuji pointed out.

"At least Ohtori isn't the most disgusting thing at the party." Atobe added.

"Hey! I resent that!" Oshitari frowned, "I think she's very beautiful."

"Oshitari… Seriously?" Atobe questioned.

"It's fine Oshitari-san. It's fine." The muscular girl growled in a deep somewhat manly voice before taking off and exiting the building.

"Look what you did!" Oshitari glared before chasing the girl out of the room and into the moonlight.

"Don't follow me!" Akutsu (I mean Akutsuko) roared, tears pouring from her eyes forming black streaks along her cheeks.

"Don't listen to them. I'm sorry it turned out this way." Oshitari ran up to her, grabbing her arm and pulling her to his chest (the action was harder than it sounds).

"There's nothing to be sorry about." She croaked.

"Listen… I think I love you and I want to see more of your beautiful smiles." Oshitari replied warmly.

"You're lying. I'm a monster!" She wailed.

Oshitari grabbed her hand and shoved a piece of paper in it, "Call me. I don't care what other people say. You're no monster."

She roughly wiped away her tears with the back of her hand and glared, "I don't need your pity." With that said, she took off running towards the setting sun. Oshitari let out a small sigh and notice something wet run down his cheek. He glanced up. It was raining. But the rather strange weather was no excuse, because deep down in his heart he knew he was crying.

"That was embarrassing." Atobe commented.

"Yes. She was quite ugly." Fuji replied.

"So, you haven't told me your name yet." Atobe changed the subject, the charming smile back in place.

Fuji let out a small giggle shoving the taller boy away playfully in order to weave through the crowded dance floor. With a smirk on his face Atobe decided to go along with her little cat and mouse game, following her around the dance floor until they finally reached the secluded bathroom area. With another flirtatious giggle, Fuji walked into the empty men's room.

"This is going to be a big notch on the belt." Atobe smirked.

"The only notch!" Mukahi's distant voice yelled from across the room somewhere. But he could be talking about anyone, right?

Without any delay, Atobe pushed the doors to the men's restroom open and walked inside to be met with a silver knife pressed against his throat. He smirked, "You like it rough, ahn?"

"I like you dead." Fuji replied taking off his wig with his free hand.

Atobe gasped, "A wolf in sheep's clothing!"

"You'll be seeing a lot more devils." Fuji smiled in a not so sweet manner as he teasingly ran the knife from the Hyotei captain's neck and up the jaw. In a swift movement, Fuji slashed a small cut across the captain's cheek.

"You bitch! You ruined an absolutely perfect complexion!" Atobe growled, clutching his bleeding face.

Fuji's smile widened in response.

"Take this!" Atobe spat throwing a urinal cake at the Seigaku tensai (the dictionary states that a urinal cake isn't an actual cake).

"You're going to regret that!" Fuji yelled.

"I knew you'd have something planned." Atobe whipped up a small shotgun from the jacket of his tuxedo, "But I must admit, you had a pretty good disguise considering I couldn't see past it with my Insight. Unfortunately, I think it's time you die."

Fuji managed to jump into a stall just in time to avoid a bullet, holding the knife securely in one hand while the other held the poisonous darts. The Seigaku tensai listened carefully to the slowly approaching footsteps, tightening his grip on the blade's handle. In an instant, Atobe kicked in the stall door and pointed the gun directly at Fuji's forehead, while Fuji held the knife right at Atobe's gut.

Both teenagers frowned.

"What's that horrible smell?" Atobe coughed as he backed away.

"Oh my gosh." Fuji covered his mouth and nose.

As it turns out, the bathroom wasn't as empty as previously mentioned. Kabaji who had spent the last hour at the buffet table was now feeling the consequences. There was an ear-splitting flatulence (flatulence: the polite method to write 'fart').

"I'll be back!" Fuji yelled, voice muffled as he hastily opened the window and stumbled out of it.

"You won't be so lucky the next time." Atobe replied nasally as he plugged his nose, dashing out of the bathroom.

* * *

Sengoku Kiyosumi was surprised that there was someone still left in the tennis clubroom at this hour. He slowly pushed the door open to see a really, really muscular girl-man-thing in a red dress seated on the floor in front of a makeshift fire. The orange haired teenager frowned. 

"Akutsu?" He wondered aloud. Sengoku sighed as he was met with silence and was about to walk out of the room until he heard his name called by that thing on the floor.

"Sengoku… Am I ugly?" Akutsu questioned, wiping away his overly excessive layers of make-up.

"No…" Sengoku coughed, "You're just… lovely."

"Thanks." Akutsu replied, "I think I needed to hear that."

Sengoku was about to question whether the other managed to get revenge on Atobe and Fuji for the death of Dan, but he decided it was best if he didn't know a thing. He was already going to get nightmares as it is, and he wasn't keen on making it worst. For this reason, Sengoku slowly backed away and walked out of the room and would later be absent from school for a good week claiming that he has developed a terrible sleeping and eating disorder.

And so, Akutsu looked down at the crumpled piece of paper in his hand and allowed a small smile to make its way onto his face before throwing it into the fire.

"We had a great time." Akutsu whispered, "A great time."

**To Be Continued**

**Ending Notes:** _I felt like killing myself every time I pictured Akutsu in a dress slow dancing with Oshitari._

_Urchin Power_


	6. Chapter 5 Niou Day Massacre

_**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** February 1, 2008  
**Authoress:** Urchin Power  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
**Category:** Dark Humour  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough of Fuji's pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they'll both end up dead by the end of the week. (Atobe x Fuji in murder only)  
**Note:** I'm really sorry for the long wait and feel absolutely terrible for leaving the story the way it was. But I'm back and hopefully if life doesn't become too busy again the story will be finished soon with bloody results. This is a bit of a confusing story inside of a story inside of a story thing. Have fun reading!!_

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 5  
**_Niou Day Massacre_

"It was horrible." Niou Masaharu shivered, "So… So very, very horrible."

Hanamura Aoi the coach to Jyousei Shonan's tennis team nodded her head sending the most sympathetic gaze over to the silver haired boy who sat on the couch opposite her.

"There was so much chaos… It was just… horrible." Niou muttered as he rolled over onto his side and curled into himself.

Coach Hanamura secretly grinned as she took discreet pictures of the Rikkaidai youth, placed her hand on his shoulder, and stroked the silver spikes a top his head. The redheaded woman knew it was a good idea to get her psychology degree (she actually just broke into a real psychologist's office and photocopied whatever certificates she saw on the wall), just as it was a good idea to become the coach of the little boy's tennis team despite her knowing anything of the sport. And so there they were seated in her office with two cups of tea sitting innocently on the table.

"So tell me Niou-kun, do you like older women?" Hanamura questioned.

"Things were flying everywhere like arms, heads, cabbages, limbs…" Niou replied, his voice shaking.

"Yes, we should talk about your tormenting incident… But you still haven't answered the question Niou-kun." Hanamura carolled.

The door burst open revealing Hanamura-sensei's least favourite person: Kajimoto Takahisa the party pooping spoiled sport.

"Hanamura-sensei. Don't pretend I don't know what you're up to." The brunet warned.

She frowned, "But you don't."

"But I do." He glared.

"I have no intension of turning Niou-kun into another one of my many young male masterpieces." She replied with a sort of tenor in her voice that suggested the exact opposite.

"It was early Saturday morning," Niou (who was still in his own world) interrupted with a deep sigh, "Everything was going just great. The sun was out. The birds were chirping. Sanada-fukubuchou hadn't slapped me yet."

"You like that stuff, huh?" Hanamura grinned.

Niou continued oblivious of her comment, "Since practice was cancelled I decided to take the bus with friends: Yagyuu Hiroshi, Marui Bunta, and Kuwahara Jackal. We ended up at the Ginza district just to do some shopping, maybe sing karaoke after… So we walked, visited some stores, tried on different outfits, looked around, and then we decided to have hot pot back at Marui's place. So we walked towards the marketplace, you know… to buy different kinds of meat, vegetables, and some udon noodles. That's when it all started…

Saturday morning, the sun was out and there was barely a cloud in the sky. It was just another busy day at the Ginza district with the bustling crowds and that person who would silently mouth out a swear word as the group of squealing young girls suddenly stopped in front of a shopping store, thus blocking his or her path on the side walk. Not far off, four young boys were walking down the street.

"Fuji-senpai! Eiji-senpai! This is unfair!" Momoshiro Takeshi complained as he followed the pair through the busy streets carrying several large boxes.

"At least you're not the one dragging the crate!" Echizen yelled wondering why he was following his senpai-tachi instead of… doing the other stuff that he does.

"I don't see what the problem is." Fuji replied with a small shrug and Echizen could have sworn something inside the crate just growled.

"Well," Momoshiro began, "I guess Echizen's bad mood started this morning. I finished my chores and had nothing to do, so I decided that maybe I should head over to Echizen's place. Besides, I needed some breakfast and who better than to eat with than my favourite kouhai? So we headed over to the hamburger place-"

"Wait… Hamburgers? For breakfast?" Kikumaru gawked.

"Triple cheeseburgers… multiplied by eleven?" Momoshiro grinned sheepishly.

"… Go on." The two Seigaku third years frowned.

"Twenty-two?" Momoshiro muttered.

"We meant go on with the story." Fuji replied lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh…" Momoshiro coughed, "Well…

Saturday early morning, the sun was out and there was barely a cloud in the sky. It was just another busy day at the burger place. The workers there were feeling a little sickened by the two young boys who kept flooding their mouths with food and one of them swore he saw the spiky haired one accidentally eat a napkin.

Momoshiro Takeshi scanned the table looking through the mountains of crumpled wrappings for a burger. He continued his search, but it was all in despair. He let out a small whine before spotting the last burger slowly make its way into Echizen's mouth.

"Hey! Echizen, look outside!" Momoshiro gasped.

"No." The first year replied taking a bite.

Momoshiro winced, "But… It's the coach's granddaughter with that friend of hers."

"Shit. Where?" Echizen looked through the window in fright.

Momoshiro grinned taking the opportunity to snatch the half-eaten burger from out of his kouhai's hands.

"Hey! Momo-senpai! Give that back!" Echizen growled.

And so after a small squabble, they left the hamburger place and were spotted by Fuji and Kikumaru.

… and this kid's still blaming me for stealing his burger. " Momoshiro explained.

"You did steal it." Echizen frowned.

"No. I ate it." Momoshiro corrected.

"So Fuji-senpai, how's it going with the monkey king?" Echizen changed the subject.

"Don't worry your little head about it." Fuji smiled.

"So… What's in this crate?" Echizen questioned jumping back as the crate growled once more.

"You don't have to worry about that either." Fuji replied momentarily before being dragged towards an ice cream waffle cart along the way by a now excited redhead.

"I'm going to e-mail buchou about this." The young freshman grumbled.

… and that particular waffle stand is famous for wrapping a roll of fluffy light waffles around a block of ice cream." Niou clarified.

"Wait… So, Echizen was in a bad mood because Momoshiro-kun stole his hamburger?" Kajimoto frowned.

"Yes… Those waffles were fluffy and light." Niou sighed completely ignoring the question; "It's practically impossible to get one of those god-given waffles since there's always such a big line-up…

Meanwhile, Atobe Keigo was seated comfortably in his black limousine polishing the large and lustrous machine gun that was sitting on his lap. His sources had told him that Fuji Syusuke was spotted down the street corner along with that redhead Mukahi doesn't like, the loud-mouthed buffoon, and that brat. Putting on his sleek black sunglasses, he rolled down the window and rested the gun against the window's ledge as the chauffeur continued to drive.

"You can't escape Ore-sama's insight." Atobe smirked spotting a mop of honey brown hair. He pressed down on the trigger consequently shooting fifteen people along the way before lodging a bullet deep into his victim's scull. With a triumphant cackle he stepped out of his limousine onto some guy's dead and bloodied body (don't worry he was planning on going shoe shopping after) making his way towards the brunet lying facedown on the pavement surrounded by people who were screaming and crying over their dead loved ones.

He kicked the body over and mentally swore. This wasn't Fuji Syusuke! In fact, this was no brunet! On closer inspection… This was Ishida Tetsu from Fudomine! And he was bald!

But his sources were never wrong. Fuji Syusuke and the three loudmouths (minus the brat) had to be around here somewhere. Resting his large gun against his shoulder, he walked towards the corner waiting for the streetlight to change, leaving behind the mess he made for someone else to clean.

It was then that he spotted the Seigaku tensai and there was no mistaking it this time. He pulled the gun out, aimed, and yelled out, "It's time to meet you maker Fuji Syusuke!"

He pulled the trigger once more, blood splattering from nearby bystanders and non-main characters onto his expensive suit (he was planning on going shopping for that too). However, as the dust cleared Atobe was less than pleased to find Fuji standing with a large smirk on his face tossing the body he used as for a shield to the ground.

"It's time I show you one of my triple counters!" Fuji laughed in a sort of maniacal way, "Echizen! Open the crate! Echizen! Echizen?" The Seigaku tensai frowned as the scanned the area before spotting Kikumaru, Momoshiro, and Echizen running down the block as fast as they could. Though he had lost the rather dramatic effect, Fuji decided to open the crate himself revealing a large grizzly bear that jumped out of the wooden box towards the Hyotei captain.

Atobe let out a shriek as the grizzly bear knocked the gun out of his hands. Unfortunately the safety wasn't on since Atobe was against the safe side preferring to go the more adventurous and dangerous path, regardless when the gun hit the ground a shot was fired, which managed to hit a certain Seigaku tensai. At that point, Atobe would have danced around in joy… but he had too much money, so he would have most likely hired dancers. Nevertheless, he was in no dancing position considering he had a large bear on top of him, was bleeding from unknown places, couldn't feel his body's lower half, and probably should be going to get a rabies shot soon.

The grizzly bear, lovingly named Higuma by a certain tensai, was the youngest cub of three. And though he was the weakest of his siblings, he always strived to be stronger. However, as his luck would have it, it all turned out otherwise. One night, he stayed behind at the river, trying his darn hardest to catch the biggest salmon he could get his claws on… In fact, catching a salmon at all would be a great feat for him. But he wanted to prove himself, get his mother's attention, and become the better bear.

All of a sudden he felt a small prick on his left cheek and the next thing he knew, he was getting drowsy. When he woke up, he was outfitted in colourful frills and a party hat. Worst of all, he was behind metal bars. However as it turns out, those bars were the least of his worries. After a few weeks in the circus, he was exhausted and frightened of the sound of his master's whip. It was then that he heard that fated voice…"

"Hold on." Kajimoto frowned, "What about this bear now?"

"His name's Higuma!" Niou rolled his eyes, "How many times do I have to say it?"

"You said it once." Kajimoto replied.

"Isn't he just the party pooper?" Hanamura interrupted.

"Yea… Well, this bear was part of the circus. He wasn't treated very well, and where was I again?" Niou frowned, "Right… It was then that he heard that fated voice…

Fuji Syusuke had just finished putting bubble solution into the school sprinklers and exchanged the club's tennis balls with Furbies. With a wistful smile, he decided to take his leave, exiting the school and hoping everything would be as magical as he had planned. But now it was time to run off and do tensai things.

The spent the first few hours sky diving along with his rather handsome sky diving instructor and his sky diving instructor's pet penguin, who regardless of any proved facts didn't need a parachute because it was perfectly capable of flying as all penguins (being birds) are. After getting his helicopter piloting decree, Fuji took the next ship to Africa. There, he helped others build a school and became the proud teacher of the first graduating class. From there Fuji travelled north into Europe, but not as a tourist. Along with a group of enthusiasts, Fuji became an avid activist against animal cruelty.

It was in Scotland that he freed a certain Nessie from a couple of fishers, because large fish have feelings too as well as large hearts. After a couple of stops, saving little creatures along the way, Fuji found himself staring into large black eyes.

It was love at first sight.

"My name's Fuji Syusuke." Fuji smiled.

"Rawr." The grizzly bear replied.

"You don't have a name, huh?" Fuji sighed sympathetically, "If that's the case, I'll call you Higuma."

"Rawr."

"You like that name don't you?" Fuji smiled.

"Rawr." The bear replied."

"Hold it." Kajimoto frowned, "What does the life of this bear have to do with Atobe getting rabies?"

"I'm getting there! Stop interrupting me!" Niou complained, "And so it was love at first sight. The bear was absolutely taken by Fuji, as Fuji was equally falling for this furry brown bundle of love. In the middle of night, Fuji hired a bunch of people to rescue this bear. It was this Saturday morning that the bear finally made it's way through customs and was to be picked up by Fuji."

"That's a very touching story." Kajimoto replied sarcastically.

"Yes," Niou nodded, "It was at that moment that that freaky guy from Yamabuki appeared holding a gun in each hand. He was still driven to get his revenge against those who killed Dan. Though in my opinion Dan would have died anyway with that headband slipping over his eyes all the time. I was quite surprised when I heard from Kirihara that Dan exploded rather than accidentally having that headband slip over his eyes and walking into a burning furnace, or traffic, or a building, or something like that. But it was also at that moment that Higuma turned around…

"Rawr!" Higuma panicked spotting his new loving owner lying in his own blood created by a bullet wound. Biting the teenager under him, he flung the Hyotei captain against a nearby building rushing over to his master's side.

Higuma rushed forward, knocking over an old lady who carried quite a heavy bag of groceries. The contents of said bag flew into the air, a pineapple successfully hitting Akutsu over the head. With blood and pieces of his skull pouring from all parts of his head into his eyes, and his consciousness fading, Akutsu knew that he let Dan down. Heck, he'd be lucky if he managed to survive this… but he knew that it just wasn't his day. To his surprise, he felt his head being lifted up and pillowed under a lap. He blinked away the blood and tears looking up into a handsome face he thought he had forgotten about… Unfortunately, the heart doesn't forget that easily.

"Who… Who are you?" Akutsu coughed.

"Shh… It doesn't matter." Oshitari Yuushi replied.

"O-Oshitari? From Hyotei?" Akutsu wheezed.

"I said be quiet. Save your strength." Oshitari urged.

"W-Why are you helping me?" Akutsu coughed once more, blood gushing from his mouth.

Oshitari remained quiet with a solemn look on his face before replying, "You… You just remind me of someone…"

Akutsu let out a chuckle, wincing from the pain, "That was a long time ago…" And those were Akutsu's last words as he died in the navy haired man's arms.

Meanwhile, Higuma had finally reached the Seigaku tensai's side to find in vain that the brunet wasn't responding. But being a bear, he wasn't skilled in any lifesaving or CPR skills. And being a bear, he did the only thing he could do. He took off, running down the street corner, mauling everything in sight.

And that's how Marui died." Niou sniffed, "We always warned him that too much candy would make his blood sweet and tasty, in case of a bear, tiger, lion, or elephant attack. He wouldn't listen to us… No. He didn't."

"Yes… He would've been very tasty indeed." Hanamura smiled in that freaky way of hers.

"But what happened to Atobe and Fuji?" Kajimoto questioned.

"I don't know. I wasn't there. Weren't you listening to the story? Saturday, no practice, no Sanada slapping spree, and a hot pot that didn't happen because of a sudden bear attack." Niou replied.

"Akutsu's dead too? And what's with Oshitari? I feel like vomiting." Kajimoto stated honestly.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about. Again, I was too busy minding my own business. But if Akutsu and Oshitari did hook up I think we'd all be vomiting." Niou replied.

"Well, I'm thoroughly confused." Kajimoto frowned before exiting the building, forgetting why he had initially barged in.

"Good." Hanamura grinned, "How it's just you and me, Niou-kun."

And so, Niou Masaharu was probably worst off exiting the psychiatrist's office then when he had initially arrived. Then again, Hanamura wasn't a real psychiatrist.

Meanwhile in an ambulance not too far away…

"Please keep your hands to yourself." The paramedic urged.

"Since you showed me your Higuma Otoshi, I think it's time I show you my Rondo Towards Destruction!" Atobe announced trying to reach over in failed attempts to hit the brunet in the stretcher next to him.

"Hah!" Fuji laughed as he too tried to attack the other, "What are you planning on doing? Teach me to tango? You'll have to find another dance partner."

"There's no way I'm dancing with you!" Atobe shrieked.

"Are you forgetting the other day?" Fuji sneered.

"At least I don't cross dress!" Atobe roared.

"At least I don't have rabies!" Fuji retorted.

"I told you we should have put them into two separate ambulances." The paramedic sighed as his partner driving the ambulance grumbled.

**To Be Continued**

_**Ending Notes:** I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter._

_Urchin Power_


	7. Chapter 6 Gelatinous Pudding Things

**Title:** Murder Tactics  
**Date:** September 1, 2008  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough of Fuji's pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they'll both end up dead by the end of the week. (Atobe x Fuji in murder only)  
**Note: **I want to thank those who read and reviewed. And I just want to apologize and thank you all for your patience.  
**Warning:** YUKIMURA FANS MUST NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!! THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO HANDLE MOVIES LIKE SAW OR SAW 2 OR SAW 3 MUST NOT READ THIS CHAPTER!!

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 6  
Gelatinous Pudding Things**

"NURSE!" Atobe Keigo yelled impatiently, "NUUUURSE!"

A woman who looked very similar to a certain teacher with red hair, glasses, and oh my! It's Hanamura-sensei! Came into the room. She smiled, "Atobe-kun! It's rude to yell in a hospital!"

"I have money! I don't need rules!" Atobe retorted, "But honestly, why did I get this green gelatinous pudding thing? I ordered for the red one! No one likes green! Gross."

"Atobe-kun, just eat it." Hanamura-sensei replied. She was getting a little bit exasperated with this certain young boy's (mmm yes, Hanamura-sensei loves young boys) attitude. For a second there she questioned whether or not getting (stealing) her nursing certificate was worth it.

"But it's lime!" Atobe whined.

"Just try it. One bite doesn't hurt." Hanamura replied.

Atobe frowned as he poked his spoon into it, watched it jiggle a bit, and stuck it into his mouth. His eyes widened, "Apple? I certainly didn't expect that! Mmm… Get me another one of these green apple gelatinous pudding things, you working class peasant with your comfort-size housing and your three course meals and your non-imported from Swiss Alps and filtered through volcanic rocks bottled water and your public transportation and-"

There was a weak cough before a semi-see-through curtain pulled open, "Roommate-san can you please keep it down… Oh Atobe-kun!"

"NEVER!" Atobe glared as his threw his half eaten green apple gelatine at the current Rikkaidai captain. He immediately regretted it after, because green apple was the best. But at that moment, the semi-see-through curtain on Yukimura's other side pulled open revealing none other than Fuji Syusuke. The brunet smiled, "I thought I knew that voice. I can't believe how bad my luck is. He's annoying isn't he Yukimura-chan?"

"You're the annoying one." Atobe retorted and turned to glare at the red headed nurse-teacher-any other occupation close to young boys, "You! Why the hell am I stuck in a hospital room with two people? Especially that idiot?"

"You're talking about yourself right?" Fuji grinned in a particularly dark manner.

"Your mother must feel guilty for giving birth to a freak." Atobe glared.

"Don't talk about my mother and Yuuta that way!" Fuji shouted.

"I wasn't talking about the younger loser!" Atobe stuck out his tongue before turning his attention back to the teacher dressed up as a nurse, "I'm rich! I deserve my own room!"

"I'm sorry, but there's a shortage of space here." The redheaded woman shrugged, "Besides, you two lovebirds seem pretty happy to see each other."

"LOVEBIRDS?" Atobe and Fuji shrieked.

"Everyone get some rest, and I'll just go check up on the unconscious young coma patients." Hanamura-sensei winked.

"Coma patients?" Atobe questioned.

"Young coma patients." Hanamura-sensei corrected before trotting out of the room.

"I can't believe this." Fuji rolled his eyes, "To think I'm stuck in a room with an idiot."

"Me?" Yukimura coughed.

"I'm the one stuck in this room with a complete freak." Atobe glared across the room.

"I'm not… that freakish am I?" Yukimura questioned.

"Whatever. I'm going to be the bigger person. So, I'm outta here!" Fuji flipped his hair and limped towards the door. As he reached for the doorknob his hand was quickly slapped away by a glaring Hyotei captain who managed to grab his crutches and wobble very quickly for a person with rabies from where he once was.

"I'm the bigger person, so I'm leaving." Atobe replied.

"Manners!" Fuji yelled as he slapped away Atobe's hand that now on said doorknob.

"You're the one who's always in the way!" Atobe screamed as he shoved Fuji into the door despite having crutches and all. It was only a matter of time until the door gave way and both boys landed rather painfully on the floor.

"Look at this you big dummy! Now we don't have a door!" Fuji glared.

"Yea, and it's all your fault!" Atobe accused.

"Don't leave. I'm particularly fond of roommates and having people to talk to." Yukimura spoke out.

"SHIT! My stitches ripped opened!" Atobe growled as he limped over next to Yukimura's bed.

"Atobe-kun! Please take a seat back on your bed and tell me how Hyotei is doing." Yukimura smiled.

"TAKE THAT!" Atobe yelled picking up a pretty bouquet that was recently dropped off by a certain Rikkaidai vice-captain, throwing said flowers towards a certain Seigaku tensai.

"Is that the best you can do?" Fuji shrieked running over to a nearby table and throwing whatever he can (swabs, bandages, those tongue things that look like giant Popsicles sticks, syringes) at Atobe… though he may have hit Yukimura from time to time. In retaliation Atobe threw the IV bag (along with the pole and long tube that was attached to it) and in which Yukimura protested, "I need that to live!"

* * *

"My friends!" Fuji smiled widely freaking out most visitors in the room.

"So… Nice to see you alive." Oishi nodded.

"Thank you for your concern mama of Seigaku." Fuji's smile widened even more and the Seigaku team just had to take a step back.

"Nice you're alive too Atobe." Oshitari coughed.

"Much unlike our little Ohtori-kouhai." Atobe let out a small chuckle.

"Leave Choutarou alone." Shishidou whispered harshly as he continued to stroke his decaying junior's dry-blood matted hair.

"Presents!" Fuji's voice interrupted, "Thank you so much everyone! Oh! Flower Echizen? Aren't you growing up into quite the gentleman! Chocolates Momo? They're half-eaten, but still very thoughtful! What's this? Wasabi-sushi? My favourite! Thanks Taka-san!"

"Shut up!" Atobe glared, "I got presents too, right?"

The Hyotei team remained quiet.

Atobe frowned.

"Well… you have the habit of making fun of the presents we give you and chucking them into the nearest garbage can." Mukahi shrugged.

"Cause you guys always end up giving me something useless." Atobe retorted, "Don't you all remember my birthday? Jirou gave a goldfish."

"I thought it was a rather nice goldfish." Oshitari commented, "Until you killed it."

"We're lucky Jirou's asleep right now and isn't conscious of this conversation." Shishidou muttered.

"YOU'RE ALL MEAN!" Akutagawa Jirou suddenly sprung awake from where he was comfortably sleeping on Kabaji's back.

"Oh, you were awake?" Oshitari lifted an eyebrow in disinterest.

"No! I was just having a sleep paralysis attack! Why didn't any of you guys help me? I was totally suffocating and I couldn't move! And there you all are, talking about the poor fish I got for Atobe, while I'm still conscious. You know I can still hear you guys!" Akutagawa yelled.

"Take a chill pill!" Mukahi rolled his eyes.

The curly haired boy pouted his cheeks, "You guys all make fun of my sleeping diso- or… snore."

"Yea… talking to that guy is useless." Atobe observed, "Na, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"How thoughtful Kaidoh! Thank you very much! Even though you have a scary face you're quite the softie aren't you?" Fuji grinned, directing the attention in the room back onto the abundance of presents by his bedside.

"So Yukimura-san, how are you managing?" Oishi asked.

"Well enough. Thank you for asking. Cough, cough." Yukimura offered a weak smile.

"What a suck up." Atobe rolled his eyes.

"That's not a very nice thing to say in front of you know who." Momoshiro pointed over to the blue haired captain of Rikkaidai properly losing all subtly if he even had any.

"Oh don't worry. Cough, cough. Atobe-kun and Fuji-kun make fun of me all the time." Yukimura gave a practically heartbreaking smile this time. Both the Seigaku and Hyotei team couldn't help but feel a certain newfound level of compassion for the sick blue haired teen.

"Nurse! Cough, cough." Fuji mocked in perfect imitation of the Rikkaidai captain, "Can you turn off the air-conditioning in the middle of a particularly hot and humid summer in a small stuffy room that I share with two other people? Cough, cough. The cold air is affecting my disease."

Atobe let out a small chuckle as he too began to mimic the Rikkaidai captain, "Nurse! Cough, cough. Can you switch my bed's position with Fuji-kun's so I can look out the window? Puppies, bunnies, and pretty cloud formations? Heh. Lame. You know you're going to be stuck between two bulls. Deal with it."

"You guys shouldn't be picking of a dying person." Momoshiro announced.

"Fshuu. I agree for once with the peach." Kaidoh nodded.

"Didn't quite get the window spot, eh Yukimura?" Fuji almost smirked. Fuji doesn't smirk, Fuji only smiles.

"What's wrong with you anyways? It's like you have a simple cough and cold only." Atobe almost cracked a smile. Atobe doesn't smile, Atobe only smirks.

"You should be happy you don't have something life threatening like cancer." Fuji crossed his arms.

"You know what? I know a story of someone who had cancer." Atobe informed while nodding his head in approval of the person in his thoughts, "He got over it and rode a bike. What are you doing with your tiny cough and your weak cries for help?"

"Sanada!" Fuji interrupted as he whined in perfect imitation of Yukimura (though a bit exaggerated), "Fuji-kun and Atobe-kun keep bullying me! Cough, cough. Do my dirty work for me, cause I can't fight my own battles!"

"He's really sick guys. You shouldn't be joking about this." Oishi lectured with a perfectly serious face.

"And what's he sick with?" Fuji questioned scanning the room for any answers before rounding on Yukimura actual, "What are you sick with?"

"Some muscle thing. Cough, cough." Yukimura replied in a weak and sweetly quiet voice.

"Some muscle thing. Right." Atobe rolled his eyes, "Very specific."

"Cough, cough. I don't like to talk about my condition." Yukimura let his smile dip to one side in sorrow.

"Yea! Yukimura shouldn't talk about his condition if he doesn't want to. He's not forcing you two to talk about yourselves." Momoshiro placed both hands on his hips.

"You better watch what you're saying Momo." Fuji smiled sweetly.

"Well, I got mauled by a bear, broke a leg, fractured my arm, and caught rabies." Atobe shrugged.

"I got shot in the hip with a gun, sprained my wrist when I fell onto the road, and broke three ribs when I got run over by a motorcycle." Fuji shared casually.

"Huh." Momoshiro nodded and remained quiet for the remainder of the visit.

"Your turn Yukimura." Atobe smirked.

"Cough, cough. My muscles are weakening." Yukimura explained in a light voice.

"Seems to me like you're lying. Nothing's direly wrong with you so quit complaining." Fuji crossed his arms.

"You think your little act can faze us? You're merely a small trout in a tank with sharks." Atobe informed in his usual arrogant manner.

"Wow! That cloud looks like a tennis ball! Can you see it Yukimura?" Fuji questioned in a rather innocent voice, "Oh, I forgot! You can't."

"Why are you two picking on Yukimura?" Inui suddenly spoke out as he looked up from his notebook for the first time since the visit, "I'm sure he's not the person you hate the most in this room."

"Right now I really hate Ohtori. He's starting to stink up the room. You should really bury that thing Shishidou." Atobe advised.

"Besides, we have a temporary truce." Fuji informed.

"Truce?" Oshitari questioned.

"That's right." Atobe nodded, "Right now both Fuji and I have a common enemy."

"Sanada Genichirou." Fuji revealed.

"He's a real bastard." Atobe commented.

"A very mean and cold hearted guy." Fuji added.

"With a strange fetish for slapping people." Atobe frowned.

"Not to mention he's completely brainwashed by Yukimura." Fuji placed the cherry on top of the cake.

"He's ugly too." Atobe just had to add.

"Zero personality." Fuji nodded in agreement.

"He's the kind of person you want to avoid." Atobe explained.

"Not to mention he smells like cabbages." Fuji frowned.

"Aa." Atobe nodded, "Cabbages."

"Fermented cabbages? Like that Korean dish?" Shishidou questioned.

"No." Atobe shrugged.

"I love kimchi. It's very spicy and nice." Fuji commented.

"He's just plain cabbage." Atobe explained.

"Thinking of the cabbage is starting to make me smell the cabbage." Fuji informed.

"You're not the only one." Atobe frowned.

"Sanada!" Yukimura's smile widened, "Cough, cough. How is the team?"

The black haired teenager who seriously looked like a middle-aged adult (so not Hanamura-sensei's type) pushed his way into the room. His face remained impassive and rather scary as he offered a large bouquet of flowers to the blue haired boy in the hospital bed. He eyed the visitors in the room.

"Nice to meet you Sanada-kun." Oishi smiled.

The Rikkaidai vice-captain glared.

"Sanada. Cough, cough." Yukimura curled into himself, "Can you bring me a glass of water please?"

"Of course." Sanada nodded.

"Bring me some of that green gelatine while you're at it." Atobe added.

"Tea for me!" Fuji included.

Sanada glared at the pair.

"What a pansy." Atobe smirked as the black haired teen left the room.

"I think we should get going." Oishi smiled.

"Oh?" Fuji smiled and raised a brow.

"There's a 70 percent chance Tezuka's flight will arrive half an hour early." Inui explained.

"Huh. So, Tezuka's coming back?" Fuji appeared in deep thought.

"That's right." Oishi nodded.

"Well, tell Tezuka that I'm sorry I wasn't there to greet him at the airport given my condition." Fuji clapped his hands together happily before his expression darkened (while smiling!!), "And be sure to warn him that if he gets in my way, I will kill him."

"What?" Kaidoh blinked.

"Well, let's just go then." Oishi let out a nervous laugh as the Seigaku team sprinted out of the hospital.

"Yea, we should get going too." Oshitari sighed.

"See you later buchou." Mukahi waved.

"Hopefully in a body bag." Oshitari added before the Hyotei team took off in similar fashion to that of the Seigaku team: as fast as their legs could take them.

"I'm glad it's quiet now." Yukimura smiled.

"Screw you. No one likes you." Atobe frowned.

"I disagree." Fuji crossed his arms, "I think there are a lot of people who like Yukimura."

"Who are these people might I ask?" Atobe questioned.

"Cabbage people." Fuji replied.

"Yes. Sanada." Atobe nodded.

"Though I don't see how a boring and dull guy like him could like Yukimura-chan. Yukimura looks like a girl." Fuji commented.

"Not to mention is apparently really good at tennis, but due to his imaginary disease he can't play so well." Atobe added.

"I think Yukimura should die. That way at least he'll be somewhat exciting." Fuji suggested.

"Great idea Fuji." Atobe nodded in agreement, "Let's use one of those tongue suppressors to rip out one of his eyes. We of course want the other eye to stay in tact to witness his own torture."

"Brilliant!" Fuji cheered, "Then we can feed Yukimura-kun his own eye ball."

"But we have to infect the eye ball first." Atobe informed, "I overheard that the person in the room next to us is suffering from STDs. We can steal a blood sample, dip the eye ball in the blood, and feed it to Yukimura-kun."

"Well, since we're going to steal blood, why not steal a urine sample too? Yukimura-kun will need something to wash his eye ball down with." Fuji grinned.

"And when he's sick with STDs, we'll force him to drink down a small vial with the cure. And the only way to retrieve the cure is to rip his own stomach open." Atobe suggested.

"Wow! How do you come up with this?" Fuji asked obviously impressed.

"Yes, be awed my Ore-sama's prowess." Atobe smirked.

"Well, Yukimura-kun is going to have a hard time ripping his stomach open and trying to get the cure if we break his fingers first." Fuji added.

"Very gangster." Atobe nodded in newfound respect.

"Thank you." Fuji smiled.

"I say after we break his fingers, let's hack off one of his hands and slap him with it." Atobe suggested.

"Good idea! We may as well hack off his legs to make him kick himself." Fuji added.

"Yes, then we can play operation with the rest of his corpse. Seems fitting since we're in a hospital." Atobe stated.

"Yes, and maybe then we can find out what's wrong with Yukimura-kun. But remember Atobe, not to touch the sides." Fuji warned with a predator's grin on his face.

"Operation!" Atobe laughed as the pair got up and stood on either side of the blue haired boy's hospital bed.

"Guys… Cough, cough." Yukimura offered a weak smile, "Can we talk about this? Cough, cough. Nurse! Cough, cough. Nurse! Cough. Can you please get rid of my two roommates?! Cough, cough. NURSE!"

Ten minutes later Sanada entered the room, which was empty save for the fresh blood sprayed on every corner of the room and the mutilated body laying in pieces on the bed in the centre of the room. The glass of water Sanada Genichirou was holding dropped and shattered on the floor.

"YUKIMURAAAAAAAAAA!!"

**To be continued.**

**Ending Note:** Sorry it took so long to update! But I really wanted to finish all my stories before I leave (I honestly outgrew fan fiction. I find it hard to read and write fics nowadays) and Murder Tactics has only one more chapter left after this one so I may as well complete it. Though I'm not sure what kind of reaction this chapter will get. Probably disgust. But you've got to admit, Yukimura had it coming. Don't worry; next chapter won't be so gory in a sick and twisted manner. Thank you so much for reading and to those who review!


	8. Final Tactics Epilogue

**Date:** September 9, 2008  
**Summary:** Seigaku has had enough of Fuji's pranks! Hyotei will stand no more of it: being Atobe! And so Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke are unknowingly pitted against one another and if all goes well they'll both end up dead by the end of the week. (Atobe x Fuji in murder only)

**Murder Tactics**

**Chapter 7**  
**Final Tactics**

"Welcome everyone to another meeting of Alcohol Anonymous! This is our second meeting this month and it looks like we have some new members. Congratulations for admitting to your addiction, and being brave enough to share your story and seek out our help! Care to introduce yourselves?" An overly perky woman in an atrociously florid hot pink dress exclaimed enthusiastically.

Some kid with orangey-brownish (more brown than orange) not very well cut hair stood up, "Hi… My name's Hiyoshi Wakashi… I started drinking a few weeks ago because I just feel… so neglected and ignored. No one cares about me… They don't even have the decency to remember my name. A few days ago I was-"

"My name's Atobe Keigo." Atobe interrupted with a dark look in his eyes as he cradled a large gun in his arms, "and Fuji Syusuke dies tonight."

The woman frowned, "I think you have the wrong room sir."

"Oh." Atobe frowned, "Where is the Fuji Must Die Club?"

"Over there." The woman pointed to a room after checking her clipboard.

"Thank you." Atobe nodded before leaving the room and walking over to the other one. He introduced himself for the second time, "My name's Atobe Keigo and Fuji Syusuke dies tonight."

"Get in line buddy." Kirihara sneered.

10 minutes later...

"Hi, my name's Akira and I'm the manager of this building. I want to know if everything's okay in here?" A man with darkish hair knocked on the door and entered the room to find a blood splattered Atobe standing in the middle of corpses.

"Fine." Atobe shrugged, "These people were just in my way was the only problem, but it's over now."

"Beverages are okay?" Akira questioned.

"Yes. The orange juice was quite good actually." Atobe nodded.

"Would you recommend our building in the future for any type of meeting or gathering?" He asked.

"Hm. This place is pretty decent." Atobe replied nodding once more.

"Make sure to fill out a comment card after! I hope you have a great evening sir." Akira gave a thumbs up.

"Oh... I will." Atobe replied with a rather malicious look on his bloodied up face. (not his blood of course)

* * *

"Are you sure this is the place? It seems kind of deserted." Fuji Yumiko frowned as her younger brother grinned widely… too widely.

"I'm sure nee-san! The invitation said so." He replied while maintaining his bright smile.

"Well, have fun at the party Syusuke." Yumiko slowly nodded before driving away… after all it wasn't like Fuji could drive. He was still in middle school! And it was certainly against the law to drive without a driver's license, and Fuji was a good citizen who always followed the law.

And so, Fuji watched as his sister drove away, waving his hand in good-bye before unzipping his 'sleepover' bag and pulling out a large sub-riffle gun (for anyone who cares: it's a K 50M) he strapped to his back, handguns on either side of his hips, thighs and ankles, ammunition anywhere he can find fit, a M49 sub-riffle gun gripped nicely in each hand, and his lucky dagger. He smiled, shot the lock professionally with a handgun, and kicked open the large doors leading into the enormous summer cottage, "Let the party begin."

"Oh. Fuji." Atobe greeted in feign surprise armed in weaponry, bulletproof clothing, and ammunition similar to Fuji's attire, "You're early. You must be eager to die at the skilful hands of-"

"TARUNDORUUUUU!!" Sanada Genichirou yelled swinging into the grand hallway, looking absolutely like an action movie hero with the broken glass from the window sparkling around him. He landed on the marble floors and pulled out a machine gun on either hand and aimed at Yukimura's murderers, "DIIIIIIIIIE!"

"What terrible aim." Atobe commented with a small frown watching as new bullet holes were created destroying almost all furniture, though none of the bullets actually found their way into their targets.

"S-Sanada." Fuji tried to interrupt the Rikkaidai vice-captain (who by the way was still screaming an extended 'die!' while firing), "Your gun dealer must have been a really nice guy for adding in really nice scopes onto your machine guns. Saa… you should learn to use it. It helps with your aiming."

The pile of shells on either side of Sanada continued to grow. Both Atobe and Fuji exchanged awkward glances before turning their attention back on the Rikkaidai vice-captain. They shrugged, both pulled out a handgun and shot the teenager who seriously looks like a middle-aged man right in the middle of the forehead.

"I wonder if he'll smell like rotten cabbages in a few days." Fuji considered.

"Hm. Excellent observation." Atobe nodded, "But as I was saying before we got interrupted: You must be eager to die at the skilful hands of Ore-sama!"

"There's only one person dying today! And that's you!" Fuji retorted pressing down on the trigger to the sub-riffles equipped in each hand.

Atobe quickly made a dodge as he somersaulted down the stairs and took shelter behind a small mahogany table. He poked his head from his hiding spot trying to locate the exact spot Fuji was shooting from, while using a hand pistol to make several shots to ensure his cover. He knew his summer cottage (mansion really) like the back of his hand. From the angle of the bullet Fuji was hiding by the marble statue fountain. He made a wild leap drawing out a machine gun watching as clouds of smoke and debris quickly clouded over the area he was shooting at. He rolled and took cover behind the door leading into one of the dens. He waited…

It was quiet.

Did he manage to finally kill Fuji? The one who broke his beloved pocket mirror?

…It was too quiet.

There was a small sound that resembled a tiny bell. Atobe looked down by his feet. His eyes widened. Grenade! It exploded.

Clouds of smoke filled the area and Fuji shielded his eyes. His arm was a little numb which meant he must have been nicked by something either it be a bullet or a piece of sharp debris that managed to head his way… Nothing he can't handle. After all, pain was nothing compared to seeing the corpse of your worst enemy in pieces. Suddenly bullet shots came out from the dust. Fuji quickly ran down the long hallway into a sort of dining room (a very big room at that). He aimed at the walls and shot rows and rows of bullets knowing that the strength of the bullets will go through the walls. And if Atobe were to follow him, he'd now be met with a curtain of bullets. Fuji's gun began to make a soft clicking sound. He frowned. Damn. He was out of ammunition.

He rolled behind the large dining table and pulled out a large shotgun. He listened closely for footsteps as he quietly loaded two red shells into each barrel.

Clink.

Fuji immediately identified it as the sound of broken glass being stepped on. And so he emerged from behind the dining room table, aimed with his shotgun and fired at Atobe before ducking back down. He loaded the shotgun again and waited… He waited.

"Meet your maker!" Atobe yelled as he suddenly emerged from behind Fuji a handgun pointed directly at the Seigaku tensai.

Fuji's eyes widened as he hastily discarded his shotgun. It was useless as such close range, and pulled out his lucky dagger and swung his arm to properly push away the handgun from his face. He made a high kick to the side that was deflected as Atobe brought his arm up in defence.

Their eyes met.

Fuji smiled.

Atobe smirked.

They quickly leap away from one another and ran to new hiding places, drawing out their guns once more.

They continued to fire at one another, exchanging from room to room, each trying to find a territorial advantage. Finally Fuji retired to the study, sweat dripping down the sides of his face, and gasping for breath. He reached into the small pouch by his side and pulled out a ribbon of linen bandage wrapping it around his arm and watching, as it quickly turned red. His arm wasn't the only place injured. He mentally swore.

He continued to fire down the hallway from where he saw Atobe last, he switched from gun to gun to gun, discarding them once he ran out of select ammo specified for that particular gun model. He was now with his last handgun. Fuji weakly lifted it up and kissed the handle for luck (and no that wasn't red lipstick imprinted on it) as he continued to shoot into empty space. Click. Click. Click. He was out of firearms. He closed his eyes and took in a big breath and exhaled trying to calm down as shots were still continually fired at him.

And suddenly it was quiet.

Fuji cracked an eye open. He tried to stand up but realized that both his legs were too stiff. Besides, from all the blood he lost, he didn't feel like moving.

"Atobe? Are you dead yet? Because I'm out of bullets." Fuji asked from down the hallway, hidden behind a large mahogany desk in the study.

"No. And to your relief I'm also out of bullets. By the way, how are you doing?" Atobe replied a few seconds after, his voice sounding as though it came from down the large hallway somewhere near the snack and entertainment area.

"You shot me in the leg." Fuji replied, raising his voice so the Hyotei captain could hear him better.

"Really? You shot me in the leg too." Atobe yelled back.

"Oh?" Fuji tilted his head in interest, "Which one?"

"The right." Atobe replied.

"Really? Because you shot me in the right leg too!" Fuji informed, "You also shot me in the shoulder!"

"The shoulder? It couldn't be the left one could it?" Atobe questioned.

"You have good insight." Fuji replied.

"No. It wasn't the insight. It was because you also shot me in the left shoulder." Atobe chuckled. There was a small pause before Atobe added, "We have a lot in common."

"I can't hear you!" Fuji yelled.

"I said: We have a lot in common!" Atobe yelled his voice rough in his obvious weariness.

"You're right. At least we're both right handed. We can still play tennis in a few days." Fuji replied.

"What was that?" Atobe questioned loudly, "Come towards the entertainment room. I'm hiding behind the fridge."

"You come to the den! I'm behind the desk!" Fuji yelled.

"I can't walk." Atobe stated.

"I can't either." Fuji informed.

There was a silent pause.

"How about we meet halfway in the corridor?" Atobe suggested.

"No. Forget it! I'll come over to you! I'm hungry. You know I skipped lunch today." Fuji explained.

"Really? I did too, I was afraid of getting any cramps." Atobe explained.

"Is that so? Because I was afraid of the same thing." Fuji grunted as he used to right arm to drag himself out of the study and down the large hallway and into the entertainment room. Fuji paused momentarily at the entrance of the room as he shared a rather warm smile with the Hyotei captain before dragging himself to sit next to the other teenager.

"I found some sushi in the fridge." Atobe offered.

"Thank you." Fuji nodded instantly going for the one covered in wasabi.

"You know, one of your bullet's scraped my cheek ruining my perfect complexion." Atobe frowned, tilting his head slightly to show the brunet the wound.

"I think it makes you look dangerously sexy… especially if you standing on a clay tennis court." Fuji smiled.

"I'm dangerous and sexy looking now? …On the tennis courts?" Atobe smirked, "I've always found you quite beautiful."

"Oh?"

"That's right." Atobe nodded, "I would watch your tennis matches and would admire your tennis."

"Is that so? Cause I'm not just a tensai at tennis." Fuji replied rather seductively.

"We'll see about that." Atobe's smirk widened as he leaned forward to capture Fuji's lips in a kiss, then another one, and another one. Fuji let out a small pleasurable moan as Atobe slowly pushed Fuji against the floor.

"No! No!" Fuji complained.

"Something wrong?" Atobe arched a brow.

"I'm lying on broken glass." Fuji frowned.

"Oh… We'll just move over to the side here." Atobe mumbled.

They resumed their kissing and clothes removing before Fuji brought up a hand to the larger teen's chest, stopping him once more.

"What is it this time?" Atobe asked impatiently.

"It's my first time." Fuji confessed.

"Really?" Atobe blinked genuinely surprised, "Well the lube is up three flights of stairs. Seeing as we both can't walk, I don't see the point of getting it, even though it's the strawberry flavoured Hello Kitty brand." Atobe explained.

"Isn't there something around here we can use?" Fuji questioned scanning the room.

Atobe let out an aggravated grunt as he checked in the fridge, "Grape jelly or ketchup?"

"Ketchup sounds safer." Fuji contemplated.

"Ketchup it is." Atobe growled before capturing Fuji's lips once more.

**The End.**

**Note:** I hope you all enjoyed this final chapter and the epilogue underneath! Thank you so much to everyone who read! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! Thank you so much to everyone who added this story to their favourite list!

**Murder Tactics**

**Epilogue**

Tezuka Kunimitsu smiled secretly to himself. He was just sooo excited! He was back at Seigaku and was ready to order laps, play tennis, run towards the sunset, play more tennis, and just have a great day with all his super friends. He had to calm down. Never let your guard down. Yes. Calm down. He had to remember his role models: Batman never smiled and was really, really cool and stuff. Superman was also super serious and like everyone likes Superman cause they all like the cold and serious type… Not like the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman… he was too nice and the outfit was just terrible. Ooh! Wolverine. He had to be like wolverine. The lone wolf type who doesn't talk much and who's totally serious as well.

Tezuka put on his stern face… it was short lived as he let out a small giggle. He was just too excited! Tennis! He was finally back from Germany and he was going to see his whole team and have a super fun group hug! He let out a small cough. Serious. Batman. Must frown to be cool. Serious.

He emerged from the clubroom onto the tennis courts and made a dramatic pose that'll surely impress and catch the attention of all his teammates… He frowned (for serious now). His diary was going to be busy tonight as he stomped his foot on the ground and pouted. The courts were empty… Where did everyone go?

Meanwhile, both the Seigaku and Hyotei team approached the Atobe summer cottage, hoping for the worst: one of them still being alive. Regardless, they all let out a sigh of relief upon pushing the door open and finding broken glass, broken furniture, Sanada's corpse?, torn wallpaper, bullet holes everywhere, a few slash marks, more broken bits of debris and wreckage, but most importantly there was blood everywhere.

"Wait a second…" Momoshiro frowned, "I know this smell."

The large group watched as Momoshiro Takeshi bent over and dipped his finger in the 'blood' before bringing it to his mouth.

"What is it?" Oshitari questioned.

"Ketchup."


End file.
